a second goodbye i never got to say

by kerry
(johannesburg)

In 1991 I was faced with a difficult choice, to either keep my son or give him the opportunity to have a good up bringing. A life more fortunate than the one I could give at the time. As difficult and as long as it took, I had made the decision to give my son a chance in this world. I gave him up for adoption to a wonderful couple. So life continued, he became part of their family, growing into a lovely young man. Then something changed, he found his mom. Me, on facebook, he was 19 wonderful years but going through some tough times. He wanted to get to know me and his father of whom was living in UK. I was very happy to hear from my son. The child I never thought I would get to meet one day. My heart was at peace. My 19 year old son who sounded like a chinese person on the phone. Finally. We spoke and emailed and chatted on sms, he was unsettled and wanted to come home. Then the time came whereby he had to come back to SA, back home. He had done some silly things in Singapore that he had to answer too but he was now forced into a corner and in many discussions with his parents, he had to leave Singapore. We met at the airport for the first time in June 2012 since he was a little baby in my arms. Nervouse and scared we started our new relationship. He called me Ma, mom and grew to love his little sister of 9 as she loved him. It was a bumpy road for us but we continued to work together and things started to work out. He had met a lovely girl and had decided in June 2013 to move in with her. He became a responsible young man. Then on June 21st my son was killed in a light aircraft crash. He was about to turn 22 in August 2013. My son will never come back to me, I love you son. I always have and I always will.

Comments for a second goodbye i never got to say

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Aug 12, 2013
a second goodbye I never got to say
by: Doreen U.K.

Kerry I am so sorry for your loss of your son to a sudden death. You did such an amazing selfless act to give up your son so he could have a better life whilst denying yourself this joy of motherhood. Often circumstances prevent a mother from keeping her child. I am happy for you finding your son the way you did, but so terribly sorry for your loss of your son when you had just found him. People come and go from our lives all the time and some we want to keep forever and some we lose far too soon. It will feel like a double injury for you to endure. At least your son found you and he was happy even for such a short time. Hold onto those precious memories you have of meeting your son all be it for such a short time. Life is so full of sadness and pain. But death is so crushing because we lose those loved ones we wish we could have with us forever. I am sorry for your loss in such a short space of time. May God be with you.

Aug 12, 2013
Thinking of you
by: Anonymous

Dear friend, A close relative was forced to abort her baby by her husband - he was not willing to support another child !

You gave your son the gift of life and then made the ultimate decision which was such a sacrifice for you.

Amidst your heartache you know that you were given a very special prize. Your son who was reunited with you before he so tragically passed.

Thinking of youX

Aug 12, 2013
a second goodbye
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for the pain i know you must be going through now. I know how hard it is to give your child up for adoption. I have had to do that. A part of me died when i lost my son and something always feels like it's missing. How fortunate you were to have your son contact you later. I am still hoping to someday hear from mine. I'm just so sorry you had to lose him again in such a tragic way. I hope you can at least remember the time you two had together and that it will bring comfort to you. I wish you all the best.

Aug 11, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Oh I am so sad over your story, I know it hurts. You found love together as mother and son and now it is over. Tragic. I had my son 39 years and losing him was a tragic loss too. We were not separated but No matter what we love them,no matter where they are. My heart goes out to you. We somehow endure these losses but they are never easy. The grief is hard. You are not alone in grief on here,we understand
Some days are horrid and some days We survive better,but the ache stays within. I do know. I am glad he found you before he left earth. That was a blessing. I must say I hate death.

Aug 11, 2013
My heart goes out to you
by: Deb

My heart goes out to you:( The only solace I can give you is that God was able to gift you with your son after so many years apart. He knew you loved him and I hope you take solace in that. I cant imagine your pain, but know you have come to this site for comfort.

May you find peace within as time goes on and know that your son was loved.


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