A Silent Loss

by Dannielle W
(Ontario)

Last Summer my husband and I after getting married wanted to begin starting our family and we knew we faced challenges due to "Infertility" anyways we didnt realize the sadness we faced, we went to see our family Doctor who referred us to a fertility specialist who told us that my Fallopian tubes were blocked and my chances were slim. anyways we concerned the chances and then were were told the cost involved and the chances that we would actually conceive a child and had to make a hard choice (more based on the thousands of dollars that the IVF and other cost related to it) were going to cost us (we couldn't afford the cost we were not rich people) anyways we decided not to go threw with the Fertility treatments.

It broke my heart, I'm still a year later dealing with it. Even now talking about the loss of never being a Mother is hard. I deal every day with the loss when i hear about friend who are pregnant or pregnant bellies. To me this is a loss that cannot be defined. No i did not lose a child or a pet but because of infertility and the cost involved i will never fufill my dreams to be a Mother. Due to health issues we decided it was also best for me to have a hysterectomy (which was a hard decision) this made the never to be a Mother Final too. I will forever feel a piece of me missing from missing a child growing inside me to having grand children when im in my 40s or 50s.