A Sudden Emptiness

by Lynne
(MASS)

It started in 2002...we had started a family, our youngest son was turning one....we decided that we should complete our family with a puppy. We had the time and land and love in our hearts so we began our journey in search of the perfect pet. We didn't have to look far - a nice family that my husband worked with had a litter of Springer Spaniel puppies, when we went to look at them I was completely hooked on this one little guy who was mostly brown and white and so so tiny! We were fortunate to be able to visit and watch him grow bigger in anticipation of our being able to take him home at 8 weeks of age. When we brought him home his ears were so fluffy and long and he looked so awkward....big ears little head...he was ours and he was adorable. We long since decided on Bailey for a name. Bailey was an amazing dog...we did the puppy class and the training classes and he was a smart one....paw, sit, stay, lie down, and our favorite "leave it" we could put any food item down and say leave it and that dog would not touch it until you said get it. He was an amazing dog with lots of energy. He was patient and kind with our boys and so tolerant. After about three years, he was finally able to stop "jumping" and he would be the center of everyone's attention when we had guests over. He would always sit on your feet, not by them or between them but right on them. I don't know why but it's where he loved to be. It was annoying sometimes, I have to admit more than once I told him to move especially if I was bare footed. He loved to run in the woods, he loved to be outside. He never left the yard, he came when called, he was really a good dog.

Yesterday started like every other, we went outside he did his business, he came in for his bone, ate breakfast and settled in for a day of lounging until we got home. That afternoon, I get a phone call at work from my children now 10 and 14. Crying, hysterics, they came home from school and found he had died on the kitchen floor. I rushed home, trying to keep it together, our dog, this is not possible, he was fine this morning, we cried rivers, we cried ourselves to sleep, now today I wake up and I can't shake this empty feeling. I can't make it an hour without crying, I know we have 9 years of memories, 9 years of laughter and good times, but I don't never realized how consumed with grief I would be. I know time will heal the pain, and there will be a day when I will smile when I think of him but right now, this pain is so profound, I have no idea how to get through this. I will, I am strong, but for right now, all I want to do is cry. I would give anything for him to sit on my feet, barefoot or not. Thanks for letting me write this down, it helps, and I know that his memory will stay with us forever. <3