A sudden loss of my soulmate

by Farrah
(canada)

I met this amazing man 8 years ago, and had 2 beautiful little girls with him. I had 2 other children from a previous relationship, and this man took them in to his home as his own. We spent every single day together, 24/7..he was my bestfriend! We shared everything together, he was my rock. I loved him with every ounce of my heart.

He had went to the hospital and was diagnosed with pnemonia and given antibiotics for 7 days. After the 7 days he wasn't any better if anything he was worse. He went back to the hospital and was given another antibiotic, but no tests were done or anything. After 9 days on the antibiotic, he was getting really bad..he couldn't breathe, he felt like he was suffocating. On Father's Day 2012, I took him to a different hospital where he was diagnosed with 2 large clots on his lungs and enlarged heart. The next day, I went and seen him in the ICU and the prognosis seemed really encouraging, I touched his foot, told him I loved him..see him tomorrow and left at 9:30pm. At 11:30pm the doctor called to tell me he had passed away. Even the doctor was shocked that this had happened.

I'm devasted, I feel like nothing will ever be ok. My heart yearns for him. I find that I am begging god to bring him home to me, even though I know that can't be done, I just want it so badly that I feel sick. I found out that I was not a very strong person and I don't know how to take care of my little girls. Im so badly in pain.

Comments for A sudden loss of my soulmate

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Jun 25, 2012
a sudden loss of my soulmate
by: shaz

i feel your pain so much.its 22 days since my true love and soulmate left this earth.the pain is unbearable,its awful but its a process that your grieving,and we must go through this to come out the other side.this site has been wonderfull, and has helped me so much.and doreen from uk you are a special lady.i always read what you have to say,and its all so comforting.i hope its support to one another at this time that we all have to go on,the journey of grief

Jun 23, 2012
A Sudden loss of a soulmate
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Farrah
I am sorry for the loss of your soulmate of 8yrs.
A sudden Death will leave you in a state of shock and disbelief. You will be feeling quite numb. This is natures way of providing shock absorbers so that we don't die of the pain and grief of a sudden loss. You need to find some support for yourself so that you are not coping with this loss all by yourself. If you feel you can't cope then see if you can find support from a bereavement counsellor who will work with you so that you can be in a better place in order to take care of the children. You can also find support to have your children looked after by a relative or friend so that you are not having to do this at a difficult time when you will feel as if you are walking around like a zombie and feeling frozen with grief. We are all with you in your suffering as we all go through this pain of grief when we have lost someone. Every day it is so difficult getting out of bed and getting stuck into the day and not feeling motivated to do this. My heart goes out to those who have to care for children as you do. Looking after your family will just create a diversion from the grief but if you don't give yourself time to grieve you will just be postponing this for later and it will feel more intense and painfull. There is no short or simple answer. Take one day at a time. Don't try to cope if you can't. Tell someone you are not coping. Ask for Help. This is not a weakness. The isolation if you don't have anyone to support you. The Lonliness of not having your partner to talk to and share the load. It all creates a life that is hard to go on each day with the dread of all the other things that one has to take care of. Try and write things on paper so that when you work your way through things you can tick them off and it all won't look so bad. It is an uphill struggle for a while but it won't always be this way. Don't look too far ahead and see this mountain. Take small steps at a time. Only do what you can. Lean on others. You will eventually recover some of your energy. You will Survive. You will go on to be able to look after your girls. You will find deep within yourself the skills to go forward. But only one day at a time. My sister's keep telling me this. At the moment I find it hard to believe. But I know they are telling the truth. My sister lost her son of 30 to suicide. She was mad with grief. To see her today. She is a different person. Full of Hope and Joy. She is helping others with grief. She is a good support and I too am able to pass this on to you and others on this website. We all grieve together and we all heal together. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I hope the days ahead will get easier for you and that you will get the support you need to help you at this difficult time. Best wishes.

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