A Very Lonely Christmas

by Mary
(Ocean, New Jersey)

I lost my loving husband,Gene on Dec.8,2010, although this is actually my second Christmas without him, this was much harder than last year. I think I was just numb, last Christmas, but I have now realized how lonely the holidays can be. Although I was able to spend time with my daughter and grandchildren, it was just very lonely and sad, for all of us. I am happy the day is almost over. In the past our Christmas was always fun filled. But now I know things will never be the same. In the past few years I have lost my only sister, my brother-in-law and my daughter has gone through a divorce, and now I am without the love of my life. The person that completed me, that loved me no matter what and filled our home with love and laughter. I am so very sad and so lonely. It is so hard to try to create a new life for myself, to spend so much time alone. I am fortunate to have wonderful family and friends that have been so supportive, but I really don't think anyone knows what it is like to lose a soulmate unless they have gone through the experience. I wasn't prepared and am still stumbling. I know my Gene is with God and has celebrated Christmas in heaven, but I miss him so very much. My heart has a huge hole in it that will never close. Gene, I love and miss you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Merry Christmas in Heaven.