A void in my life that none can fill

by Varun
(Pune, India)

I lost my mum on the 25th of October 2011, a year after an immense struggle with cancer. I knew she wasnt gonna be around for long the day I got to know that she was a cancer patient diagnosed in the terminal stages. We tried all that we could to make sure she recovered somehow. Everyone who met us sympathised with us but I didnt like the idea. Basically I didn't wanna accept it and had this small hope inside of me that she would make it, thinking miracles happen when you believe. Guess I was wrong. Docs kept pushing her surgery to a future tentative date after every chemo cycle giving her false hopes that surgery would make her better. This idea kept her going and fighting the demon that was engulfing her slowly. Then the dreadful day of August 20th 2011 came when the docs finally told her that no surgery would happen and that she could go home with meds for a quality life. This news broke her and she finally surrendered to the illness that was overtaking her confidence. She gave up totally but all this while she was worried bout me. Her only child who would be left with his dad all alone in this world. I took time off work to be with her as much as possible for I knew there wasnt much time. The cancer had spread to her brain even. She lost senses one at a time. First legs, then hands, then finally speech. She cried and screamed in pain but she couldnt talk to express what was hurting her and this killed me everytime. Her epilepsy attacks were a nasty scene to behold. All I could do is cry in privacy cause the first time in my life I felt helpless and vain. However none of my anticipated miracles worked and finally on the 25th of October she left me. I miss her a lot and try my best to make sure my dad doesnt see me crying else he'd turn weak. I wish she was here with me so that I could tell her how much I love her. Its not easy being strong now for she was my strength. The idea of living the rest of my life without her is a nightmare. Faith in God is a thing of the past for me and I aint succumbing to that idea

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May 17, 2012
Overwhelmed with Grief over losing my dear Mother
by: Cheryl Smith

I was so touched reading the comments here of so many who are walking this same, lonely path. I lost my dear Mother on April 28th, 2012. It is almost more than I can bear. I miss her so much...there is no words to describe or express this deep pain of heart. My heart goes out to all of the others who are in the same situation. If anyone would like to read my devotional blog, I would love to share my heart with you there. The address is: www.cherylsmithministries.blogspot.com.
To all who are grieving, I offer my sincere, most heartfelt sympathy and condolences. I am leaning hard on my dear Lord in Heaven to see me through. I trust He will do the same for you.

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