A year alone after 12 year relationship ends

by Fred
(UK)

I have had 2 major illneses, cancer, open heart surgery.
I thought she was wonderful standing by me or so I thought.
The illnesses took its toll mentally and physically.
On both of us, it put a strain on our relationship.
I started having major doubts when after open heart surgery, I had a bad turn and was attended to by the crash team i learnt later. I was sick when eating my meal on the evening whilst a nurse gave me medication. I text my partner i had been sick. She replied are you ok.
Followed quickly by another get your self sorted before you come home, as I cant handle that. I had had open heart surgery spent 2 nights intensive care, doped up to the eyeballs but i was shocked.
Cut the story short, I discovered texts from another man.
Which she totally denied. I asked if all was well with us no it is not and how dare I accuse her of an affair. I did not i nearly asked was there anyone else. I then uncover £5000.00 debt she had ran up on my credit card without my knowledge. Then to discover water rates debts of £1000:00 she had ran up solely in my name.
I loved her and offered to help her clear the debts. The credit card company wanted to do her for fraud. I said no what a fool.
She led me a merry dance first wanting to start again as girlfriend and boyfriend. I'm 58 we had been together 12 years.
I met her several times each time she would burst into tears.
I asked I wanted to here from her, is the relationship over. It was not as simple as that she said. A year on i have not had closure. She moved on started online dating. A relationship she started failed.
I have uncovered more lies and deciept this past year.
It left me devastated, she has lied bad mouthed me.
My conscience is clear i did no wrong but love her.

Comments for A year alone after 12 year relationship ends

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Aug 29, 2014
A year alone after 12 years relationship ends
by: Doreen UK

Fred what a terrible experience. This is all too common a problem today. You will be wiser after the event to not take responsibility for anyone. Even their debts. You do yourself and them no favours. She should have been held accountable by the credit card fraud for what she did. You of course the loving partner would have not wanted to hurt her so took this whole problem on yourself. But now repaid with her distancing herself from you and now having left the relationship. You had faced major surgery, and ill from a by-pass, and should have been treated better. Such is life today. A lack of Integrity. You have to watch your back. You had been in this relationship for 12yrs. so why wouldn't you have trusted this woman? It is quite daunting how the world is changing. Many people are not as committed. More crime. What goes around comes around. She will get hers in time. Just don't make the mistake of having anything to do with her. Don't let your heart rule your head. My son went back into a relationship that is hurting him, and destroying him. I have to watch on the side-lines and not interfere, but just offer him support. I live in the U.K. also, if you watch much of our T.V. it covers such problems you have faced. I hope your health is better and that you can get closure from this terrible experience. Perhaps see a counsellor for a few sessions to help you move forward. Just don't be so trusting. I have also had a wake up call after losing my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago. Enquiries about who is getting my house? What I give! Who I give to! MY husband's Will. Advice offered to me. But I am older and can read between the lines and have my guard up. Sadly it has to be this way.
I have just come out of hospital. Coming down in the lift I still had breathing difficulties, and said so. A young lady doctor said Oh! No. Don't. "I want to go home." Even if doctors have a long day the overall sense of commitment and care has gone. It does open one's eyes. This is the U.K. now, but I daresay others in their part of the world will feel the same way. Sharing helps us heal and observe that Life is changing fast and all too quickly we have to be vigilant.
I hope that in the days and months ahead you will heal from this experience and reclaim your life with someone who will Love and care for you and help restore your faith in humanity.

Aug 26, 2014
No Loss
by: Anonymous

Fred, the bottom line is that you know you did your best. Unfortunately you taught her how to treat you by putting up with her crap time and again. Your self esteem was shot. What was it about yourself that you felt you deserved this kind of treatment from a woman? Didn't you feel you deserved better?

It's so sad when we love till it hurts us. God gave you so many signs that she wasn't the one. You just hoped your love would be enough to change her. A person like her being so selfish and would need care if you ended up broke or dead.

Those who love like you get their hearts broken because they refuse to give up and kick the no good , drug addicted, narcissistic , selfish lugs to the curb when they knew better.

What a piece of work she was. She did you a favor by leaving. You deserve better from a person you love. I pray you find that one who will love you back and be an equal caring , loving person. Set your standards high and don't let another woman treat you like that. Enjoy the peace and quiet that you now have.

Aug 25, 2014
Your never alone ,
by: Julie

Wow you have well and truly had the rug pulled from under your feet remember the song when a man loves a woman it's so true I hope you have good friend and family to support you it not nice when you love some one and they don't love you back to leave you in debt is bad but also not healthy for her to turn her back on you and run off with another man sorry to say this but time is a great healer you don't need her wish her all best and move on get your health sorted I believe in karma good luck and I wish you we'll!

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