A Year of First

by Ivy


At this time a year ago today, I was calling my family to the hospital, because upon my arrival the nurses informed me that the end was near. We had a sitter with Dad at night and I would arrive at 6:00am and stay until at least 10:00am. We had a sitting schedule so everyone would not get so worn out. I absolutely cherish the mornings that we were able to sit together. Though all he could do was answer by shaking his head, we were able to communicate fine. I read Louis LaMour to him, talked about hunting and fishing trips from the past. Thanked him for all that he taught me and and helping me become the father and husband that I am. There were a lot of great memories rekindled during our mornings.

Now we have had a year full of first... first birthdays, first holidays, two grand kids are now engaged and planning weddings, and a great grand son is walking. All without him. I have been told that it gets easier after the first year and I sense my mother thinking that there is going to be a miraculous change after today. But, I know that it is not going to get easier, we just learn to handle it differently.

If there is one thing I learned from my Dad, it is to live each day like it is you last and enjoy life to the fullest. His favorite quote was "Tomorrow ain't been touched". I miss him so much, but am so very blessed to have such a great hero, mentor, role model and friend. I know that today is today and "Tomorrow ain't been touched".

Comments for A Year of First

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Mar 13, 2014
Dear Ivy,
by: Anonymous

What a beautiful tribute to your father. I lost my father on January 13, 2014. He collapsed and died suddenly, and nothing could be done to save him. Like you, I was very, very close to my father, and my life will never be the same. It was a bittersweet year of "firsts", as my children are growing up and reaching new milestones along the way. I know I was blessed to have the relationship that I did with him, and he would want me to live a beautiful life. I hope you can continue to heal and find peace along the way, Barb

Mar 12, 2014
A Year of First
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Ivy,
Your post was so touching. Your family was so fortunate to have those last special moments with your dad. Yes, cherish your memories. They will always be with you.
My husband of 46 years, will be gone 3 years on the 27th of June. We were married on the 26th of June 1965. I have a few emotional days, the 25th of June 1976, my mom died, the 26th of June is my wedding anniversary, and the 27th of June is the day my husband died. He had a massive heart attack.I was standing right next to him; couldn't do a thing, he was just gone. I still ask God, why this sequence. Only God has the answer. April 30th it will be 8 years my dad died from a massive heart attack. We found him sleeping eternally in his recliner at home; so peaceful.
After my husbands funeral one of my son's told me, "Mom, people say things will get easier and better, but, his first cousin, who lost his father, told him, that doesn't happen, you get strength to go on without them". That really is how it is. We never truly get over losing them, we just slowly learn how to go on without them.
Your father's guidance made you the man you are; what a tribute to him, you are.
My 5 adult children and 8 grandchildren are my reason for living. As your mother will agree with; your dad took a part of her with him. Her life is forever changed. After almost 3 years; there still isn't a day, I don't think about him. My children tell me the same. Not a day goes by, without thoughts of our loved one.

Mar 11, 2014
A Year of First
by: Doreen UK

Ivy what a lovely tribute to your father and how you Honour Him for the father he was. I am sorry for your loss. The first year is different for all of us. The stronger the bond, and nurturing is the harder the grief one bears. BUT. It is only time that allows us to heal. Time is different for all of us. My first year of losing my husband made me feel I was recovering from grief. But in the second year it feels harder. My heart aches more. A father and mother are so significant in any child's life, no matter how old we are we will miss them more. Losing a spouse for me is the very worst loss ever. I feel as if half of me is missing. WE forge relationships, and friendships throughout our life never knowing how it feels when we lose them. It will take many years for a lot of us to recover from grief. The loneliness we feel from here on is going too test us, stretch us, but also help us to grow stronger.

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