by Sarah

I'm so grateful to have found this page. I lost my Abby (lab) in July. I cried all the time but kept it to myself. I didn't tell anyone at work and I isolated myself from my family and friends because the pain was like nothing else. Now almost 4 months later I get this from friends and family: "you need to suck it up" , "aren't you stronger yet?", and "why aren't you stronger yet?".

I just got thru reading everyone's stories here and I'm so sorry for you all for your loss. The one that hurt was the guy who said how his friends and family were there to get him thru this. That they provided comfort and empathy and were always available to listen to him. That must've been wonderful. I wish I had that in my life.

I've never realized until I lost Abby how alone I am in the world. How happy I was when I had her and how little I needed the humans in my life. Now when even a hug would be nice, I have no one. I pushed friends away by not returning their phone calls at a time when I didn't want to talk to anyone, and they never came back. I have a friend who lectures me about how I'm suppose to move on like it's that simple. And now the holidays are coming and I don't want to be with my family - my family who never called to see how I was doing or never came by to see me.

Christmas with Abby was always my favorite holiday. We would wake up and I would give her her presents and she would rip them open so excitedly. She was my family and that was my favorite part of Christmas - alone with her; after the family dinner, rushing home to be with Abby. She was my family. She was my happiness in a world that isn't so warm, cozy and colorful.

I miss my Abby. I miss her smile and her talking to me. Going for long walks together, playing in the snow, driving in the car. Oh, my little Abby the talks we've had. I've shared all my secrets with you and you would never judge me or berate me. You were just the perfect companion. Now you are gone and I'm left not sleeping, or smiling or wanting to be around anyone. Nobody understands the constant ache and the stream of tears that I shed for you. Being on the computer at 2:30 in the morning venting about you to people I don't know when we should be snuggling and happily dreaming.

I don't know of a life without my girl. I don't know how to ever be happy again. I wish there was some kind of a support group for us all. I wish I had a great friend, someone to listen to me and want to be there for me. Thanks for listening. Thanks for loving me Abby.

Comments for Abby

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Oct 22, 2011
laylas mommy
by: Holly

hey ur story made me so sad ! but i can relate 1000%. i lost my babygirl. my yorkie only 4years old. & we have no idea why! its the hardest feeling in the world. before she did my bf cheated on me and i lost him. so it was the hardest week of my life. My babygirl made me so happy. she brought so much joy into my Life. all i do is cry cry cry. :( email me if u ever wanna talk. ill be ur friend <3

Dec 08, 2010
for Abby
by: Chuck

I can relate with the isolation. Seems like nothing else in the world really mattered. Then about 9 months later I got a husky puppy and things get better. 10 years later I have 2 dogs, 4 and 10 years old. You don't ever forget, but for me it seems easier having multiple animals. They entertain each other and humor me. I have lots of pictures and memories. And still tears. Take care.

Nov 21, 2010
by: Linda, Chance's mommy

Hi Sarah--
I don't know what to say but I know what you mean... I pretty much isolate too and even though I know I shouldn't I do it anyway. And a lot of us who are grieving here do so alone-- those around us don't understand it.
Just want you to know I am thinking about you, and praying for you right now... and sending hugs.

Nov 12, 2010
by: Sarah

Thank you so much for your kind words Mari and Russ. I don't know how to get thru every day. The pain is so severe. It's nice to hear that people care. thank you both.

Nov 12, 2010
For Russ
by: Mari

Hi Russ. You are so right. We do not completely get over losses but just get to the point of acceptance. What you said reminded me of a dog we had when growing up named Amy. Amy was a long haired doxin and she was was real loving and affectionate. I used to lay my new baby on my mom's bed when I visited and Amy would not let anyone near the baby except me. She stood guard.

After 45 yrs I still think of her. She went every where with us and took turns sleeping on my bed or one of my brothers.

God gave her to us for some years before she passed away, something to do with her having a slipped disc, which I hear is common in those long dogs.

I am thankful we had her. She had 8 puppies and they were born with the long hair, real cute. She was a real blessing to our home.

As with any loss we have sadness. God made pets for a reason, to comfort us.

Nov 11, 2010
by: Mari

Hi Sarah. I am sorry for the loss of your lab. Pets are a great comfort.God gave us pets to love and for them to love us.

But you do need humans in your life. We all do. And they need you too. They called you to offer comfort. Why don't you call them and tell them it meant a lot to you? They probably felt bad when you did not call back. I would sit down and call each and every one of them. You will feel better. Isolating yourself will not help you heal. You know that God cares for you too, as well as the people who called you.

I realize that many people rely on their beloved pets for comfort. After a time you can be sure a dear pet needs you. That is not a replacement for Abby, but you are the kind of person a pet needs. Abby is with the Lord. Think about it.. People have feelings and need to hear that you appreciate their calls.

You might pray about it too. Healing takes time. Take care of yourself and keep posting. We all care on this board.

Nov 10, 2010
from Bucky's dad
by: Russ

I read your story with a great deal of sadness. I know so well how you are feeling. It has been over 9 months now since I lost my boy. I would say that time does heal - but you never "get over it".

People that say that mean well - and are concerned for you - but at the same time have no idea what your loss is. Those of us who bond very closely with an animal have a unique challenge. It is not unlike losing a child.

My heart goes out to you - and I encourage you to stay as positive as you can. There are days when you think you can't, but you will make it through.

You are definitely not wrong in grieving deeply for your girl. There will be a day when you can look back with thanks for her life and not be shattered. But in the meantime be easy on yourself.


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