Abra

by andrea

Ah, the loss of a pet. This is not the first time nor will it be the last. But she was my first Border Collie and that seems to be the key. I have her brother and other dogs. But losing her at only 10 years old was a blow. My other dogs lived to be 15, 16 & 16 1/2 respectively.

The empty place in the house and my heart hasn't gone away. Silent shadows haunt us all. Not sure why this one is so different. Even causing me guilt, that I think about her, when I have so many others to love me, and fill my heart. Greedy, I feel greedy when I miss her. She was wise and funny, but so is her brother. She talked but so does Gabby. But she picked me with her eyes. She was mine through and through. I picked the others but she picked me.

Don't get me wrong I love my other pets to the depth of my soul. I would miss them and don't want them to go ever, either. But Abra is gone, she did leave after a long hard fight. She had the best medical care, the best chance, but life's fragile nature lost out. Yet it still hurts and I still miss her. It's taken longer to come to terms with her not being there.

So I deal with this new sort of grief . I cuddle a cat, smile at a dog, hug every one. But still the feeling lingers. Abra was beautiful, smart, funny, and a joy to everyone who knew her. So this time I'm trying to put into words what I feel at her loss. Not easy but cathartic none the less. I wish others the same release telling about their grief and feelings. Blessings on you all