adult woman without my best friend my mom

by Denise R

My mom died suddenly on June 21 2013...she had a heart attack with out warning. She had no prior heart problems. She was 76 years old. I am lost without her. I have 3 sisters that feel the same way.
I keep waiting to it to get better,but I still wake up in the middle of the night hyperventilating on the thought that she is no longer here.
My dad started dating 3 months after she died and now announced to use 2 weeks ago that he is getting remarried next year. My parents were very happy and had been married for 57 years. I am shocked and hurt beyond understanding. I am not near over grieving and he throws this at us. So much pain.
She was my rock and best friend. I miss her support and love and dad expects me to understand that he is older (78) and needs to live for the moment and not in the past. I used to respect him but I can't anymore. My children missed their grandma so much and cannot be happy for their grandpa and he gets angry at them and us.

Comments for adult woman without my best friend my mom

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Dec 24, 2013
take one day at a time
by: benita

TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is what I did having learned this on this site. It makes a tremendous difference. Perhaps a little disoriented and wondering if this really happened. It will feel surreal as if you are dreaming and will wake up to find it didn't happen. Then the reality of it all sets in. We have all been there and these are the most difficult days ahead. But if you take one day at a time and just focus on that day it helps. Life will get easier with time and you will learn to live again. Life will never be the same again, but you will learn to put meaning again into your life. for me also life is lonely and empty. Each day brings new trials we have to overcome. May God comfort you and your family at this difficult time and give you His Peace.

Dec 23, 2013
Adult woman without my best friend my mom
by: Doreen UK

Denise I am sorry for your loss of your Mom. You will feel upset for many months. Take one day at a time. This is how I got through my grief when I lost my husband to cancer 19 months ago. I could not function for the first 6 months. I had to build myself up by doing special things for myself each day and I started to get better by this nurturing. It is so important to take care of oneself as this will build up your self esteem. It is one of the most painful losses in one's life. Your father probably can't cope with his loneliness and so has taken up with another woman. This is always hard for those left. Anger sets in and turbulent emotions from the rest of the family for some time. The timing of your father's dating again seems almost insensitive. But it may not in reality be the wrong decision for Him. To lose a spouse is so very difficult for some people to cope with that they almost always enter another relationship too soon. When my mother died 10 years ago my father who was in his 80's had friendship with one of the ladies who had an apartment in the same building. Man was created for companionship so this seems normal to feel this need. I FOCUSED on his need and didn't have a hard time accepting my father's needs for friendship. But I wasn't prepared to accept this lady as my mother. I would respect her but that is all I could do. I wouldn't let anyone convince me otherwise. I have 5 siblings and we all felt differently but similar in RESPECT. There is no easy answer. Grief affects us all in different ways, and we have to find a way to cope with the changes in life. Grief brings many changes to families. Death can bring many people together and also cause people to move further apart. It takes time to accept changes. the way you feel now may not be the way you feel further down the line. The way you feel now will change in the months ahead as you all work through your grief. I wish you all Peace and comfort in your grief.

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