Afraid to be alone in your New Normal

by Judith
(CA)

This is to help those of us who have been left alone . The security we felt with our husbands is gone. We must continue on but we need to feel as secure as we can for now.
I have read so many of you are scared and so am I to a small degree.

Please go out and purchase cheap brooms at the 99 cent store and use the handle in your windows or sliding glass doors. There are all kinds of locking devices some with alarms. Your local hardware store should carry most of them.

I had this type of arrangement in my old apartment and one day I had to call the police because I had seen someone hanging around our street and when he came in and saw all my windows he said it was the best thing I could do.

Also keep a working flashlight on your nightstand and slippers and a robe on a nearby chair. And in case you have a remote to open your car keep it beside your bed too and use that to sound the alarm in your car if someone does try to intrude then call the police.

Keep a normal routine and close blinds/drapes at dusk. Make sure no one can see into your baths or bedrooms in any way. Have a friend go outside and tell you if they can see through your blinds or drapes when the lights are on.

We need to look out for one another and tell a neighbor that if they see your lights on after a certain time or if they see your garage door open then it means you're in trouble. Work out some signal with them to let them know somethings wrong.

Take care and God bless you in your recovery process..

Comments for Afraid to be alone in your New Normal

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Mar 03, 2011
Thank YOU :)
by: TrishJ

Thanks Judith. I'm months away from my new normal. I'm currently living with my sister and brother-in-law but will be venturing on to my own apartment by the end of summer. The thought of living on my own is frightening but the thought of staying here with two 13 year olds who will be entering high school in the fall is beyond frightening. I paid my dues with my two teenagers. Free rent or no free rent ~ NO THANKS.

Your advice is great. We really do have to look out for each other. There are many crazies out there. Blessings to you. This grief journey is a lot of work!

Mar 02, 2011
You Never Know Who's At the Door
by: Patricia From Las Vegas

I just read what you wrote and I agreed. Not more than 15 minutes before I read this someone knocked on my door. Now I've just moved into a new apartment. Gated security. I gave no one the code to get into the gate. My first thought was open the door and see but then I remembered "Your Alone Now" think smart and we all tell our kids, always ask who's there before opening the door. In a way were those young kids learning all over again. It's not hard to remember were alone because we've lost our loved ones but we are ALONE. I asked who it was and when I couldn't understand what he was saying I asked again. The name he gave me was no one I knew so I said they didn't live here through my closed door. They left. I now have a call into the management of my complex to let them know.
We can't be too careful.
always, 1 step, 1 breath at a time

Mar 02, 2011
Afraid to be alone
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the really great tips

Mar 02, 2011
Thanks
by: Yvonne

Wow, thank you so much I am doing it!

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