After being cured from a genetic defect, my baby died of SIDS

by Heidi

My son, Linkin, was born on November 7th, 2012. Very soon, they found out he had low blood sugar and they had to give him glucose. We were assured this was common in large babies (he was 9 lb, 6 oz) and he should be able to come home soon. Well, he wasn't able to wean off the glucose and had to be transported to a regional hospital via ambulance. We have 3 other little girls at home, so this was a traumatic time for everyone. We were at the regional hospital for 2 weeks before they recommended going to the children's hospital of Pa. We are in Utah. We had to leave our 3 little girls with my parents in Utah & fly across the country with our baby to Philadelphia for 4 more weeks while we underwent surgery and had a 50% pancreactectomy (he had hyperinsulinism). After the surgery, he recovered so quickly & was completely cured!! We were able to surprise our entire family by taking him home for Christmas. Such JOY!
We had 2 and a half months of pure blissful happiness with our baby boy. His sisters ADORED him - countless kisses on his adorable cheeks - singing to him, dancing with him. It was just such precious time to finally be a family as it should be.
Then - on March 26th, 2013, I went to get him up from his nap to feed him & I found him face-down in his crib. I called 911, but there was really nothing they could do for him. He was gone.
The past 2 months have been horrific. To have him go through all that at the hospital and have him cured - just to lose him to SIDS! It has given me so much anger and sorrow. And to watch his sisters grieve for him is almost as hard as my own grief. I miss him EVERY single day. He's left such a huge hole in our family and sometimes I wonder if it will ever be filled.
Heartbroken :(

Comments for After being cured from a genetic defect, my baby died of SIDS

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Jun 21, 2013
after being cured--my baby died
by: Anonymous--Mi

Dear Heidi and Family in Utah---I am so very sorry for your loss of your baby boy. We cannot understand why this happened in your life; we will never have an answer to why your baby was taken from you. Some people will try to give you an answer to this but they do not know either. My husband died in Nov 2012 and the grief I feel is awful. My husband would say in situations like yours and all we who are grieving "sometimes it is not for us to know" God will make all this clear one day. Until then, it is our job to seek the help of God to lead us thru this valley of darkness; He will help us and lead us in the way He knows best for us. Take one day at a time and know that you and your husband did everything right for your son and you should not feel any guilt. Be kind to yourself by knowing that you are a good Mother and a good person and in all this sorrow God will make a way for you, your husband and your daughters. God be with you and all on this site who grieve so for their loved ones.

Jun 21, 2013
After being cured from a genetic defect, my baby died of SIDS
by: Doreen U.K.

Heidi I am sorry for your loss of your son Linkin. What a terrible tragedy to go through all the hospital visits and not seeing your girls for those 4 weeks. All with a purpose only to now find that your son died of SIDS. I know it might seem pointless to have had those operations and go home cured and then die of something else. But it was still worth trying to give Linkin a chance. Life is so very CRUEL. This will just add to your grief. I am not surprised that you are now facing anger. This is normal with grief but adds another difficulty for you to heal from. All this grief is hard work but you have more grief to work through with how things happened.
It will feel as if you will never get over it. But you will. It takes so much Time for us to Heal from our loss. Grief is the same for all of us so we never know how long this will take. You will probably feel very scared to get pregnant again in case something goes wrong. Death leaves one vulnerable to loss. Perhaps if you saw a grief counsellor you could work through your anger and you will have less to cope with since you have to help your daughters through their grief also. Life doesn't seem fair. Often there are no answers and we are left floundering and looking for those answers so we can move forward. When there are no answers our grief feels worse. I know I feel this way after losing my husband of 44yrs. 14 months ago to cancer. He died over a period of 3yrs. and so my journey was slow and horrendous. Death affects us forever. It leaves its scars. I hope that you have supportive family and friends to help you through your grief as it does help immensely. I had good support at the beginning. I hope God will comfort you in your grief and give you Peace.

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