After Losing 3rd Member Of My Family.....

by John Edward
(Portland, Oregon USA)

..I am having serious questions about my life.

I first lost my mother on May 18, 2013, then a sister died from a very aggressive lung cancer that left some of the best cancer specialists in the nation stumped on why nothing was working, and then just 2 nights ago (almost 1 year after the death of my mother) my brother died in the recovery room from heart failure.

Add to this some close former work-mates have passed away, and I am now getting to the point about seeing any more e-mails "Sad News To Report."

i am just tired of death. I know it is inevitable, but losing so many people (family and friends) is really taking a toll on me.

I am now having serious questions about my life and what I am doing. I need to earn some more money at which time I can retire (or somewhat retire) and go explore the world.

I gave my word to my boss (who is a great boss) that I will give her 3 years of hard effort before I think about leaving. I am from old school that once you give your word, you should never go back on it, but I am seriously thinking about leaving now, going home to my wife and son and skip retiring comfortably (reasonably comfortable) to go do something else.

Comments for After Losing 3rd Member Of My Family.....

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May 10, 2014
A difficult time for you
by: Debby

Hello John, you are dealing with some awful happenings in your life right now. Like everyone here, we are suffering great pain and and severe heartache from our own losses. I am grieving the loss of my husband of 33 years. The 16th of May 2014 would have been our 34th anniversary. On the l5th I will be burying his ashes. He died in January and I've found that holding the ashes is not helping me to move on in the least little bit. My only advice to you would be to take it slow. Several of my friends have told me not to make any decisions right now, because I may end up regretting it. So that is all I can say to you. Give it a little time, even a few more months. If you still feel the same way, shake your bosses hand and don't look back. Go enjoy yourself with your wife. As you are experiencing, life is all too short. The worst is living with regret. I would hate to think of you having to deal with that also. Do whatever makes you feel good. Go see the world if that's your choice, it sounds really great to me!
Best Regards,
Debby

May 09, 2014
In the nick of time
by: Doreen UK

Dear Anonymous,
Sharing your devotional reading was so good. Thank You. It Blessed me and I daresay other's in grief.
I must copy these words and read them often as they are uplifting and very TRUE. Just need to be reminded that we are just passing through this life. And Yes. Troubles will come but not to let them overcome us. Jesus overcame for us. We can now go on in confidence that even in trouble GOD IS A VERY PRESENT HELP TO US IN ALL OUR TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS.
Thank You once again. Best wishes.

May 09, 2014
After Losing 3rd Member of My Family .........
by: Doreen UK

John I can understand how you feel since having to face the death of so many close family members and friends. DEATH. changes us FOREVER. It turns one's life upside down and causes us to re-evaluate our lives and what is important.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 2 years ago to a rare and serious lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. It hit me then that he did not take any of his possessions with him, and I have had to sort and skip a lot of what he accumulated throughout his 47yrs. working life.
He was a carpenter and had plans for his retirement. He wanted to make furniture and to travel. He lost his life 2yrs. before retirement.
I can understand how miserable you feel when death is all around you and you wish it would stop. Many of us feel that we wish we could at times STOP THE WORLD AND GET OFF.
You are in Control and can make your life happen the way you want to. Start building yourself up slowly, and you will start to feel better. Then make plans to have this adventure in your life. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME and put good things in your day. Life is for living NOW. Don't wait for retirement. I know a Man's word is his BOND. But tell your Boss that you had good intentions when making a promise to give him 3yrs. of your hard work, but your circumstances have changed and you have had to re-evaluate your working life and you may have to break this promise for reasons that are personal. (you don't have to disclose this information.) You will still maintain your Integrity and also show that we are all vulnerable to the many changes we experience in life. It won't make you a bad person. Just a very HUMAN ONE. It will also teach you that we shouldn't make promises because life is changing so fast none of us know what will happen from day to day, on a human level. Even with the best intentions. Grief can also cause us to make decisions we have to change. Leave this as the reason you gave the promise of 3yrs. work to your boss. WE all live with some REGRETS in life. WE live and learn all the time. Start being happy again and enjoy life accepting its many challenges and being able to mature with these changes. Best wishes.

May 08, 2014
That is a lot of loss in a short period of time....
by: bluebird

I'm sorry you've had loved ones die, especially so many in such a short period of time.

That would throw anyone into an existential crisis and life review....since your boss is an understanding person, you said, could you perhaps take a few weeks off to think about what you want to do with your life and how you want to proceed? I think it's important to consider your retirement, and try to have enough to live on (take it from me, someone who, at 45, has no retirement money at all and will always live paycheck to paycheck, or on welfare when I get too old to work). At the same time, family is the most important thing, and spending time with them, and being happy. So if you can, maybe take three or four weeks off to think about things and talk them over with your family, and try to come to a few decisions.

Good luck, and I hope life gets better for you now.

May 08, 2014
in the nick of time
by: Anonymous

Hello I am sorry for what you are going through. I often question life especially now, I lost my 22 year old to suicide in July of this past year.
God has been good to me and my family and it is my faith that has carried me through all of this.I just read something today I thought I might share with you and after reading it, I found that it made sense and also gave an explanation for what we are going through.

DO NOT LONG for the absence of problems in your life. That is an unrealistic goal, since in this world you will have trouble. You have an eternity of problem-free living reserved for you in heaven. Rejoice in that inheritance, which no one can take away from you, but do not seek your heaven on earth.

Begin each day anticipating problems, asking Me to equip you for whatever difficulties you will encounter. The best equipping is My living Presence, My hand that never lets go of yours. Discuss everything with Me. Take a lighthearted view of trouble, seeing it as a challenge that you and I together can handle. Remember that I am on your side, and I have overcome the world. Right int he nick of time

I hope this will encourage you as it did me today.

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