Alan R. Schummer

by ELizabeth
(Sherman oaks, CA)

My grandfather passed away on Tuesday October 9 2012.His name was Alan R. Schummer. My grandfather lived in San Diego and I live in Sherman Oaks so i didn't see him often.He and I were not close at all, but for some reason I am very upset about his passing. I wish i had knew him better for so many reasons. I always thought of him almost like a distant relative because we never bonded but now I want to know so much more about him and it's too late. I'll never have the chance to ask him about sports in particular the UCLA Bruins or his army stories. I'm sure he would have loved me asking those questions but now i never can. When we all went to dinner after the viewing my Mother, Grandmother and Uncle were all sharing different stories and it made me so sad that I could not contribute. I know he was hard to get to know and he never reached out to me but I know that in his own way he did love me and he was proud of me. I hope that he is happy now wherever he is and maybe one day I'll see him again. I guess the only thing I can do now is to cherish the three grandparents that I still have. Thank you all for reading my story. The most important thing in my opinion is family and grandparents should be listened too and respected.

Comments for Alan R. Schummer

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Oct 17, 2012
Grandpa Allan
by: Jeff Schummer

Dear Elizabeth, you are such a beautiful young lady. Your grandfather was a wonderful person who loved you very much. He was very proud of you. Please know that sometimes people find it hard to show their affection outwardly, but rest assured he was interested in you and always told me how much you meant to him. Grandpa Allan had so many wonderful qualities, he was trustworthy, intelligent, responsible, humble, loyal to his family and country, and cared about others. I learned a great deal by his example and have tried to apply all of his greatest qualities to my own life. He was a real mench. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Love,

Uncle Jeff

Oct 16, 2012
GRAND PARENTS ARE DIAMOND IN OUR LIFE
by: Anonymous

They are such a wonderful persons to talk in this world. They share wonderful memories which occured in their life. their experiences are lesson to us. You can put oninment for your wound by visisting old age home and sharing their views. this way you feel you are seeing your grandfather in them.

Oct 15, 2012
Alan R. Schummer
by: Doreen U.K.

Elizabeth you got it right. Family, and grandparents are what is important in life. Sad to say many families are dysfunctional and don't get on and so this grief journey becomes another battle for them, with unresolved conflicts. Many people within a family have not bonded hence the dysfunction. But what is important is to still honour our parents and grandparents and respect them.
It will make you feel left out with the older generation sharing stories and as you say you felt awkward because you could not contribute. You don't need to contribute to the conversation but just sit at the feet of the older generation soaking up all they are saying and getting to know this man who was related to you but distant. Often you learn more from being silent and just listening to all the family conversations and knowing this grandfather more as a result.

Oct 15, 2012
Distance
by: jude

Elizabeth,

I was sorry to read about your regret at not having a closer relationship with your grandfather. I understand how distance plays a part. I have two teenage sons and we live in Indiana. My entire family is in California, where I was raised. My sons would have loved to have gotten to know their grandparents better, but it didn't work that way. On the bright side, they still have both of their other grandparents closer.

Although you didn't get to know your grandfather, it did open your eyes and give you the incentive to know your other grandparents better. You mentioned that you knew your grandfather loved you. That in itself is something you added to his life. You added love and pride to his life. Now I know I could be totally off here, but I got the idea he didn't really know how to show his love.
Maybe he was old school and bonded with boys better than with girls. My dad was like that, closer to the grandsons than the granddaughters. The important thing is you have learned something from this. Don't look back in regret, you still have memories. The couldn't ever be the same memories as others have, but they are yours. Look forward and go make new memories. Good luck.

jude

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