All Most A Year

by Eric Shadowens Sr.

Here I sat waiting for Sunday to get here.It will be one year that God came and took you home to The Gardens Of Paradise.
I thought things were going okay but it doesn't work that way.
I go out to dinner because it so lonely here at home without you.But when I sat down and look around ever body has someone with them.So that makes eating along worse but I go on and eat by myself then get up and leave.Driving home I thank what it would be like to have you back.But those are only dreams I know you are not coming back.I know you are looking down on me
and I'm trying to cope by seeing other women.I don't know if this is the right thing to do.But the kids say I need to get out and do some thing besides set at home.I have met some women there is two that I thank you would like. One lost her husband last year too and she is so nice and kind.I do thank if she would say yes about being serious It would help and maybe we both could cope. The other one is also nice and kind
but lives a long way from me. So I will say good bye for now hope you don't hate me for the things I'm doing. Just can't seem to do good living alone but that's a man for you he can't cope without a woman to help him though the day. You were all ways there for me when I was down you would pick me up,if I did wrong you were there to help me. No matter what I did you all ways stuck by me that why God pick you because you were a Angel here on earth.
( ERIC )Louisville

Comments for All Most A Year

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 04, 2012
To the Merry Widow (not)
by: Rich

Interesting comments on the need to find yourself after the lose of your spouse.

I lost my wife almost one year ago. Since that time, I have struggled not only with unbearable grief but also with my very identity. It seems as though I died when she died. During our 40 years of marriage, she and I became we. Our separate identities had melded into one.

Your suggestion that a widowed spouse take some time to re-establish their individual identity seems wise.

Oct 16, 2011
All Most A Year
by: Mari

Hi Eric. I am sorry for your loss. I understand that you are lonely. It is natural after you have lost someone you love. I think though that it is a little soon to get someone else. If you do not go through the grieving process completely there may be heartaches later. Friendships are fine.
I lost my husband in Nov 2009 and about 6 months ago went on a coffee date. It was awful for me because it was like a stranger sitting across from me.I never saw him again. He was nice, a local doctor here and quite the gentleman. But I simply was not ready.I am not sure if I would be ready now since I have not done it again.
I will see how I feel next month when the 2 yr anniversary of his passing comes and goes.
I am sure no one would hate you for feeling lonely. It is natural. But give yourself needed time and take it slow. I still feel lonely at times. I know I am coming home to an empty house but I have numerous grandchildren to keep me company and my 2 jobs keep me busy. I am actually having fun fixing the house too. I stay busy. Keep posting. Everyone cares and we are here when you need someone to talk to. God cares for you too.

Oct 15, 2011
Love of my lie
by: Pat J


My heart goes out to you. I likewise think it is way too soon to be seeing other woman. You are trying to replace your wife and that is not the right thing to do; somewhat impossible. You need to find yourself; like one of my daughter told me this week,"Mom for 46 years your life revolved around dad; now that he is gone-he died June 27,2011, 12;10 A.M.-YOU NEED TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF". She is right; do I like my life without my husband; definitely not, but I am learning to do things by myself; easy, NO, but we have to learn to live differently.
I started dating my husband at 16, got married at 18; graduated on May 29,1965; got married on June 26,1965. I went from the comfort of my parents to the comfort of married life with my husband. He is now gone from this life and I am going to live the life he would want me to live; until God calls me to join him.
Please give yourself time to grieve; I will never try to replace my husband; because in my heart no one can replace him. Please find yourself,don't go from the frying pan into the fire. My husband is gone only 3 1/2 months; I certainly am still grieving and feel I will grieve for my husband for the rest of my life. There really isn't any time limit on grieving; everything I read on grieving says that and so do grief counselors. Everyone grieves differently, take your time.
God bless you and learn to live for yourself.

Oct 15, 2011
the substitute wife
by: The merry widow (Not)


Excuse the flat out honesty. Grief and age has a way of making you straight up. I am lonely too but not looking. You can not replace what was. she is gone I am so very sorry. But now is the time for you to find your self. You inner strengths, what make you YOU. Jumping into another relationship as a answer to grief is just about the worst choice that you can make now.

Why do I keep hearing over and over that men are in a relationship within a years time?

I am still in pain to an extent I miss My Love too. But I take the time and do projects around the house that need doing go to places that I have never been. Look for activities and while I am there it does not hurt to be friendly. To smile even forced till the true smile comes through. I asked a guy in a goodwill line if he had good eyes to read the markings on a silver chain. Turns out the chain did have the 925 and he said good deal!

I am not looking for a man, I am looking to be human again and one with all things around me. To stop being angry at my situation and take on the challenge of LIFE!

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!