All My Beloved Men

by Linda

When I was 7, (in 1950) my father came home from work and died of a heart attack. I thought that was the worse thing that could ever happen. I was wrong. In 1992, I lost my beloved 50 year old husband to multiple myeloma (bone cancer) after a 13 month struggle. In 1994, my second husband and I were married. We thought we had received a miracle after losing our spouses after long, happy marriages! In 1998, he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and I lost him, suddenly, in 2003. In 2007-2008 a man married me, then walked out. (That was just a bump in the road.) In 2009, I met another widower and we began a beautiful, new life that was like my two magnificent marriages.We planned to get married and buy a new home, after returning from our vacation. Last summer, while visiting family in NY and NH, he needed sudden heart surgery, and after fighting to live for two months, he, too, died!
I try to thank God for everything I've had, but sometimes, my grief is overwhelming! I don't know which beloved man to cry for. I miss them all so much! I am in a Hospice-sponsored grief group, which is wonderful, and I have lots of loving family and friends, but some days, I wish my life could be over.

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Sep 03, 2012
All My Beloved Men
by: Doreen U.K.

Linda I am sorry for all your losses of the men you have loved and lost. Of course you will be thankfull for having a chance to love again everytime but HEY! You are HURT. You don't want to be ALIVE anymore. You have been beaten up so many times losing and loving and losing again and again. Any one of us would feel the same way. I am so happy you have a grief group for support and good friends and family also to support you. Even this support cannot erase or wipe out what you have gone through. No one can take the pain away but GOD ONLY can ease your pain in time. He sends his COMFORTER. Ask God to send his COMFORTER to you to ease your pain and SORROW and help you go on, because without this your sorrow will be UNBEARABLE. Write a jounal and structure this how you want regarding all your husbands. You will then be able to see things clearer. It is a very healing thing to do for oneself. Here you will be able to grieve each husband. Your grief is piled high. You haven't had time to grieve each loss. Grief counselling would benefit you one to one. Not just in a group.

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