All of my childhood memories
Even after 3 years it is so hard to believe that my dear, dear sister is no more. For all the 22 years of my life that I had her, we were inseparable. Most of my childhood memories feature her: daily mischiefs, horrible inside jokes that we would dare not share with anybody else in the world, disastrous adventures in the kitchen while mom was at work, silly fights over the television remote, me not letting her have any older sibling space all through our childhood and her resigning herself to this with a smile...so so many of them. All my teenage secrets were in her safekeeping. Messed up? Go talk to her and she'll make things right had been my strategy all through life. Its like most of my childhood vanished one day...all those stories ,all the secrets, are suddenly mine and mine alone.
I would give up all I have a thousand times over to sit with her one more time and recount our childhood together, to hug her, and hold her, to be the baby brother just 1 more time, to have her ask me if I am ok like her world depended on it.
She was the light of my life, always my best friend, often a teacher,sometimes a mother. Losing all that has been so tough I feel I cannot go on anymore. I know I must and I do. But this life is not appealing. I know my parents deserve to see their only remaining child happy and I will continue this pretend-you-are-happy existence for as long as they are around.I try to live by her rules, well just one rule really.She used to say that helping those in need is the best thing you could achieve in your life. I find some comfort whenever I have the opportunity to do something like that now. I hope I can make her proud.
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