Allie Azzat Assaff - 68

by Jem
(Nova Scotia, Canada)


My dad died Oct 30th 2010.

He had been in the hospital for 3 months recovering from open heart surgery. Dad made it through the surgery ..but because he had C.O.P.D, he never got off the respirator.
At times dad seemed to be improving a lot, but then he quickly took a downward turn. Dad asked to die at home, but was told if they took him off the respirator, he would not make it home.

Dad asked to be taken off the machine, said he was suffering, and died less than 10 min later. My mother and I stayed while he slipped away and It will never leave me.

The night before, he asked me to stay with him all night at the hospital. I stayed until midnight when the nurse told me he was so full of morphine that he wouldn’t know I had left. It was suggested I needed rest and should go home. I have such deep regret that I didn’t stay. Yes, it’s true he didn’t know I left, but I know I left. Had I known that would be my dad’s last night on earth, I would have stayed. I will regret it forever.

I think Dad had a good life...His family meant a lot to him.
He was a good dad. A very funny dad.
Love you daddy.

Jem

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Jul 06, 2012
RE
by: Jem

THANK YOU for your kinds word.s

Nov 13, 2010
Your Love for you dad...
by:

Jem,

Perhaps it is not true, but I like to think that when those we love die that they can still somehow feel our emotions and reply in times of need. He knows how you feel and that you love him. There should be no regrets on your part, as the love that you have for him is apparent. All things unknown become known with some kind of clarity that us mere mortals do not understand. He wanted you there because he loves you. You went home to rest as times of trauma leave us so weak of mind and body.

I can hope that with time you can understand and forgive yourself. You have done nothing except to give love and that in itself is priceless.
HH

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