Allyson

by Sheryl
(Georgia)

My beautiful 22 year old daughter passed away in her sleep on July 5, 2012. She had graduated from college May 4, got a job in June, found a great apartment and moved to the city of her choice-Charlotte, NC. She had a lot of friends and was very excited to start "the next chapter of her life", as were we. In the early morning hours of July 5, she went to bed and never woke up for work. We knew something was wrong when we didn't get a text that morning and couldn't reach her on her cell. This was not at all typical of her. We tried to think of all the scenarios of why she wasn't responding and when we found out she didn't make it to work, we called 911 in Charlotte to do a well person check. We are in Atlanta. We immediately got in the car and headed to Charlotte, thinking she was abducted or was in an accident or something. When we got to her building, the police were waiting for us. They had to break down her door. Said she died in her sleep and it looked like she never woke up, so she didn't suffer at all. Coroner said it looks like a freak cardiac arythmia, but haven't got final results back yet. She didn't do drugs and she wasn't sick.

As I know all of you are, we are devastated and in agony. Allyson was robbed of her future and we feel cheated because we are unable to see her live the life she worked so hard to achieve. Everything we did was with Allyson and her brother in mind. We know we can't forget her brother (26) but it is so hard to see any kind of life for us without our precious girl. We are broken. We have so many questions, but no answers. There is no one to blame, no one to really be angry at. I'm angry at everyone for being able to go on with their lives and we can't. Allyson was doing everything right. She didn't deserve this.
Thank you for reading.

Comments for Allyson

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Oct 23, 2012
missing my Michelle
by: yolanda

So sorry for your lost, I know how you feel, I lost my beautiful 30 yr old daughter Michelle Sept. 11, 2012. I can't believe my baby is gone, Michelle died in her sleep, Sudden Death Syndrome Epilepse, She was in good health, was happy. Michelle didn't know she wasn't going to be here with me on earth, she went to sleep and never woke up. Why didn't God direct me to her, why didn't I hear her, Why!!!!!!
I'm in shock, I can't stop looking for her in the house, Michelle please come down the stairs mama needs you, I do hear her voice and see her. I know Michelle is all around me, spiritually we are connected because the love we had and still have for each other. I know she went straight to heaven, and when I go she'll be ready for me... I need to get my faith back and believe that God has a plan for all of us, and we will be reunited again..I love my Michelle... again so sorry for your lost, but remember your daughter is right beside you, and she wants you and so Michelle does is to be strong and honor their name, live life to for them...It's very hard I'm trying, God know our pain.

Sep 10, 2012
Allyson
by: Sheryl

Thank you all for your support. I am very sorry for your losses. Its a comfort to know that others are feeling the exact same way. Its been 2 months and it still doesn't seem real. We miss her so much that nothing else has any meaning. We are getting some help from a grief counselor, so maybe we will eventually put a little bit of meaning back into our lives. The pain is so great though, that I don't see how that will be possible. I hope you all find a way to help you get through this nightmare.

Sep 10, 2012
Allyson
by: Lisa

Sheryl,

I was searching this site, due to my own breaking heart, I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my Jessica 30, 2 weeks ago due to a ruptured aorta aneurysm
She passed before i could get to the hospital , it all happened so suddenly, the night before we spoke she was headed to Boston for the weekend to visit her sister her fiber business was picking up life was good. I to feel like she has been robbed, mornings are the hardest ,( what little i sleep )
i wake hoping this was a night mere, then reality
sinks in, I can not stop crying.
John Pitts responded to you, it gave me a bit of comfort. there is so little out there for me...my thoughts are with you

Aug 24, 2012
I understand
by: Carol, Sean's mom

Sheryl, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I lost my son in his sleep back in November,2011. A little different circumstance, Sean developed a blood clot. They tried to save him but he went into cardiac arrest three times. He was only 24. Each time they try to save him more and more oxygen to the brain was comprimised. He never woke up either. He went peacefully but that is when my life turned into a nightmare. My hansome son gone! No real answers! Why?? I drive myself crazy with questions I will never get answers to. I am devastated my son did not get to live the life he deserved. I am devastated that I will never see him or talk to him again. I still can't believe it... Time has not helped at all, I am now in depression... Take Care and I pray for peace for all of us suffering this unimaginable loss..

Aug 17, 2012
from Scotland with tears.
by: Hazel

Our oldest son Andrew,also died in his sleep of a suspected arrhythmia.He was 21 and a student in his final year of university.Nothing is the same,and I am still angry at the unfairness of Andrew being robbed of his life while others - including mine -lives go on.The loss of my son has been devastating and left me with a wound that will not heal.It has scarred over in the last 5 years but has not healed - and I don't want it to. I want the loss of my beautiful talented wonderful son to hurt because he was so deeply ane dearly loved.The journey of loss is utterly unwanted, unasked for and horribly painful but it is a journey that is possible.Be strong when you can and when you can't,let others be strong for you.Remember to breathe out.Nothing makes this OK but love makes it possible.

Aug 16, 2012
I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I have never had children and I just lost my husband to cancer. He was 53. I lost a niece who was 18 yrs old in 1991 and was so devasted by it for some years. She came to me in a dream and told me she was alright. It was so vivid, my heart healed from that point on. I have gone through some trials lately. My husband and I met in 1993 and previously married 2009. My mom died in 2010. My little brother 49yrs had a massive heart attack and died in May 2012. I now have another neice who has been battling cancer for 4 years. It has spread. She is 19 yrs old. I know that nothing can take the pain away from you, but know that others feel your pain and others have pains to deal with...we aren't alone.I pray you heal soon.

Aug 16, 2012
I understand your pain
by: Michelle

I understand your pain. I also lost someone who was very dear to me. I could not read your comment without tears flowing. I have written a book that I know will help you through your grief. The title of the book is "Falling in Love with God; A Guide to Overcoming Grief". It is available at Amazon.com and michellelivous.com. If you e-mail me I will mail you a free copy (mlivous@hotmail.com). God Bless and keep you and your family!

Michelle

Aug 16, 2012
Allyson
by: Dee U.K.

Sheryll I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter Allyson. What a tragedy. A young life cut so short suddenly. We are never quite prepared for such a loss especially when it is one of our children and we as adults are supposed to die first. Nothing in life makes sense when we lose someone in death. It will make you feel as if you have been knocked sideways and can't quite comprehend what has happened. We spend our lives growing up, and planning a life, going to college and to get a job, and perhaps marriage and kids and then it is all gone. You will feel you have been robbed of your present and future. How does one go on from this? I got fed up with people telling me I had to take one day at a time. I couldn't even manage this. I would get people telling me they didn't know quite how I felt but what I should do to get on with my life. It has been 3 months for me losing my husband of 44yrs. and then suddenly one person even on this grief site seem to have all the answers. You do what you need to do to go through each day. Like you I felt so angry that everyone was going on with their lives and we had to suffer so much grief and pain that never ends. There are no answers. Only anger and tears and sadness. For me today. I don't feel like being here. It is just an endless battle each day trying to live. but only existing.

Aug 16, 2012
Sheryil
by: Eba

Sheril ,so sorry for ur loss,I know how u feel and I know. It really hurts ,her death is a chock not only from your side but me as a mother of to daughters and a son ,but lost my youngest son who passed away on the 21/2/2011 he was only 26.5 months and till now I can't believe he's gone,so yes it hurts a lot but I don't cry anymore unless if I hear a song that reminds me of my sweet heart,,,,take care of yourself and your husband who needs you much more then ever ,I love you.

Aug 15, 2012
Your Daughter
by: John Pitts

You are right, she was robbed of a lifetime and you are left cheated of seeing her progress into the future. And, you can't move on, and you won't beleive the stages of greif you will get and how you will bounce back and forth between them. You feel stunned, shocked, disbeleif, anger, sadness, want to yell, want to cry, want to communicate with her somehow, anyway possible, feeling as though she is still here. And, the truth is, She Is, as people have been telling me that my partner of 22 years is still here. Well, Im at three and a half months out from Mark's death, and it's doggone awful. My advice to you is allow yourself to express and to feel anything and everything that you will. And, do it at your pace, and don't listen to others, they DONT understand and can't, although, they try sometimes. Here you will find some comfort, and it's great that we have this resource, but terrible that we had to find it. I've heard others throughout my 45 years of living who have lost loved ones, and I always thought I understood the greif and pain they go through, but I was terribly wrong. I didn't understand a thing. My sister told me, I won't ever carry on the same again. And, I am thinking she is right. I know Mark is here somehow watching me, guiding me, etc. I know that Allyson is there watching you read this, and leaning on you, I just know it, I just know it, and it's the only thing that after three and a half months of this misery that I am sure of.......every single move of every single inkling of a thought involves my partner, and I don't want to lose that now. Moving on only happens because time keeps progressing. Allow yourself to do what you will do, Love Lives Forever!!!! We've got to beleive that. Your Allyson was needed by someone in a higher position, and beckoned, and knows your pain, but understands it now in a way that we do not and cannot until we go. I am hurting inside and still not learning to move on. Please don't rush yourselves. Time moves on, we exist in this movement of time, Love keeps us moving and that's a great thing that you still and always will have with your daughter. My prayers are with you.

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