almost 20 months

It has been almost 20 months since the sudden loss of my husband, my best friend, soul mate and father of my children. I am still struggling. not a day goes by without tears. I miss my husband so much. I beg God to help me understand and accept this new life He has bestowed upon me....yet, I still can not accept it. I am moving forward, selling my house, new job with more responsibilities, spending more time with friends but it is not the same. I am sad. I miss my husband. I feel like I am going through the motions. I know life will never be the same. I just want to be at peace with that and accept that. Why hasn't God answered my prayers?

Comments for almost 20 months

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Aug 18, 2013
almost 4 years
by: Mari

God bless all of you who have suffered the loss of your loved one. Believe me with God's help you will be heal in time. It is not easy to go through the stages of grief.
My husband had a heart condition and he died in his sleep on Nov 22,2009. It was terrible for me when I could not wake him up in the morning.I called my daughter and she came and my mother flew from Washington. Many grandchildren and my children showed up.I had the support of my family, friends, and church.My pastor came. People came from my work place.Our local police were wonderful and comforting.They made all the phone calls for me.
It has not been easy but I kept busy working and going to church.I went around grief stricken for a long time. Gradually I accepted the fact that he had gone with the Lord.All the grand children miss him and he never got to see the great grand baby who is now 2 years old.He would have adored her as he always lavished love on the grandchildren.
I work and attend church and stay busy.Some day we will meet again in heaven.In the meantime I treasure the memories of our life together.
I had bought him a leather recliner but he did not live long enough to see it. The grandchildren call it ''Grandpa's chair.'' I feel stronger now and able to cope.It just takes time and I still have moments of sadness. I refurnished the entire house and painted and it kept me busy. Time is what we need. Take care. Mari

Aug 11, 2013
almost 20 months
by: silver

It has been 26 months for me. We were married for 33 yrs.We raised 4 children.I still worked part time for a few months after but retired in Dec. after he died in May.We were going to start our time together when I reached 62 but he didn't make my birthday.I was depressed and did almost nothing for 2 months unless I had to.I thought I was coming out of my depression until the 15 month mark when I actually really lost it. I became very depressed and sick from all the crying.Thanks to this site and my wonderful kids I finally began to come out of the deep end of the pool.I am still recovering.I probably always will.I still cry at times.There will always be triggers.I have great faith in GOD.I don't know if there is someone else in the rest of my life but I know there will never be another soul mate for me.I totally believe that one day I will see him again.I have to believe that or it would be more painful for having lost him.GOD give you strength and peace.I keep you in my prayers.

Jul 29, 2013
20 months
by: Anonymous

hi ya. im at the same stage as you my dad died 20 months ago he was only 61 its so hard to move forward. all i know is i know my dad is looking out for me and keeping me safe from any harm.
its hard to move forward. i think you learn to live with the grief. life is very different and its still very hard at 20 months.

Jul 26, 2013
Almost 20 months
by: Judith in California

God is answering your prayers by helping you move on. He's helping you by your selling your home, getting a better paying job and your getting a new start. Sometimes we can't see the forrest for the trees. .

Twenty months is not a long time. I'm at 34 months and tho at peace with his death I'm still deeply sad but I still go on with each day and thank God for his blessings of body movement, vision, hearing, thought and speech and safe travels.I thank him for friends and family, a home to live in, clothes on my back and the food I eat. It''s those things that are most important.

May you begin to see the goodness God has given you and find peace on the other side of your grieving.

Jul 26, 2013
almost 20 months
by: Doreen U.K.

I know how you feel and I am sorry for your loss of your husband. I was married 44yrs. and lost my husband 14 months ago to a deadly cancer. I prayed for healing and it was not to be, my husband died. I was angry with God for a long time not because I wanted to be but because I believed in Healing. Some people will say that God answered my prayer, but they don't know, they are just guessing and trying to comfort me. But it isn't. In fact it makes me feel more unhappy with such an answer.
You are doing very well to be moving forward, selling your home, moving to a more challenging job, and socialising. This structure will help you heal. BUT. Saying this you still have the lonliness without your husband with you. You will like all of us widows/widowers miss the life that was built for two. Our needs will have changed and we will have to do those manly jobs that our men folk did. We will miss the contribution to our life that only a husband could fulfil, which is why God set up marriage in the first place and put the family in place. God created woman for Man. So what do we do now God??
I do believe that God still cares and he has a vested interest in widows and orphans as the Bible says. WE just have to let the hand of God be on our lives forever and let God make up for what we have lost.

Jul 25, 2013
almost 20 months
by: Anonymous--Mi

I feel your grief and am sad that we share this in common as my husband died 8 months ago and I am in early stages of this hard dark journey of grief. I miss my husband more every day and I don't know how I can ever feel joy again. I have grown children who miss their Dad so very much and they are grieving and my grandchildren miss their grandfather more than we know. I have not answers to help us and yet in my heart I know that the ONLY answer is to trust God, have faith that He will lead us out of this valley of darkness. I pray that we on this site will trust God more every day. God Bless You

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