Almost my Brother

by Kimberley
(Illinois)

My sister's boyfriend passed away unexpectedly just 5 days ago. Even though they weren't married, they had been together for 7 years, each stood up in my own wedding (as a groomsman and my maid of honor), and have a 2 1/2 year old daughter together. I know we are still early in the grieving process, but I can't help but feel an overwhelming frustration and anger with him. He was finally beginning to truly fit into our family; my husband, myself, and even many of my friends were just really getting to know the real him and become closer to him over the past year or so.

I just wish we understood better the circumstances surrounding his death (it was an accident, and so far the "witnesses" accounts just don't seem to make sense), and more than anything I want him to walk through the door right now and tell us it was all a misunderstanding.

I try not to let my emotions get the better of me too frequently, especially because I am now spending a lot of time trying to help my sister and keep my niece occupied since she really doesn't understand what happened; but I just want to scream at him, ask him what he was thinking and how could he leave my sister in so much pain. It's just not fair for her and it hurts me thinking of all the special events and milestones my sister and her beautiful daughter are going to have to experience without Daddy now.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it really helps just being able to vent amongst others who know the same pain. My fondest thoughts and best wishes go out to anyone who reads this and is going through or has gone through their own grieving process.