Almost one year
(Boonah Qld. Aust)
This coming Saturday (20 Nov) marks 12 months since my darling left. On the outside I look like I am coping well - and I suppose I am, but I just want to cry - I think I am in denial, I don't want the day to come.
My daughter is going to stay with me on the Friday night, so she can be with me - I don't know what to feel or think or do - do I fall in a heap or do I just go on with my outside shell in place, I know no-one can tell me how to feel or what to do, I have just watched a show on telly where a young man has just lost his wife - I had to watch - but I was playing a computer game at the same time, I didn't want to get too engrossed in the show - but was obviously taking it in - because several times I just burst into tears - not the unstoppable sobbing ones, just bursts of them, I have been doing this all week.
I am so grateful this site is here - I feel as if I am burdening my friends if I talk about John, they have moved on - and to all intents and purposes, I probably look like I have as well, but I miss John every minute of every day, even when I am laughing or joking - it is just under the surface.
Thanks for listening.