Almost one year.......

by Sandy
(PA)

I have never told my story - but have read many of yours. My son will be gone one year on January 23rd and I guess now I can write the words. My son 28 died of a accidental drug overdose, he was on medication for a car accident and he decided to go out with his friends. He never came back.
He was such a happy outgoing person. Always looking at situations and being positive. Rarely did he ever get upset or bothered. He just took everything in stride. I know this sounds terrible but i wonder why him ? Why ? I know that I will never get that answer until its my turn - but I am left wondering why ? The long road of heartbreak its filled with such tears and sadness. When I first found out i was literally speechless - i could not even utter the words. Even now almost one year later i have a hard time saying he is gone. Everyone including myself had always said, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my child. Now that I know what its like - its true you cannot imagine. The heartache, the physical ache of losing your child is unlike anything you have ever felt before. I miss him so so much. I know from reading all these stories that grief sets its own timeline and that some take longer than others.I thought I would have more to say - but all I am left with is the fact he is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to learn to live with this constant sadness and ache inside. I pray to Jesus for strength and peace and I pray for all the mothers and fathers who lost children. I will continue to come to this site and offer prayers and words of comfort - hoping that out of this tragedy I can somehow help someone in some small way. God Bless You All.