Almost one year.......

by Sandy

I have never told my story - but have read many of yours. My son will be gone one year on January 23rd and I guess now I can write the words. My son 28 died of a accidental drug overdose, he was on medication for a car accident and he decided to go out with his friends. He never came back.
He was such a happy outgoing person. Always looking at situations and being positive. Rarely did he ever get upset or bothered. He just took everything in stride. I know this sounds terrible but i wonder why him ? Why ? I know that I will never get that answer until its my turn - but I am left wondering why ? The long road of heartbreak its filled with such tears and sadness. When I first found out i was literally speechless - i could not even utter the words. Even now almost one year later i have a hard time saying he is gone. Everyone including myself had always said, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my child. Now that I know what its like - its true you cannot imagine. The heartache, the physical ache of losing your child is unlike anything you have ever felt before. I miss him so so much. I know from reading all these stories that grief sets its own timeline and that some take longer than others.I thought I would have more to say - but all I am left with is the fact he is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. I have to learn to live with this constant sadness and ache inside. I pray to Jesus for strength and peace and I pray for all the mothers and fathers who lost children. I will continue to come to this site and offer prayers and words of comfort - hoping that out of this tragedy I can somehow help someone in some small way. God Bless You All.

Comments for Almost one year.......

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Jul 11, 2012
It has been a year
by: Kathy

I first came to this page and seen your title Amost one year and I thought thats me it will be one year on June 16th 2012. Well it has came and went and I thought just get through the firsts of everything all the holidays and especially his 30th birthday that would of been in October of 2011. My son also died of an overdose and as I write I am feeling so overwelmed because Im not writing about my son Brian who was the love of my life because it just hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes and I feel like I was just punched in the heart and stomach.I was a single mother and he never did meet his father and always wanted to meet him but then when he got older and had his own children he didn't bring it up much anymore.
I love being with his children but then also I wish so bad he was here sharing what we are doing.
Even when I cook something that he loved I think oh I wish you were here to enjoy this with me.
The one thing I do know that he is in Heaven and what a joy that will be to see him standing there with Jesus and my mom and dad who I miss terribly also. I didn't think that I could make it without them but now I feel I can handle any kind of loss because the hardest thing that any parent would have to do I have done. I know that I get up every morning and see his picture but I always say I know God loved you first but I loved you second then God gives me the the strength everday to face the world without him in it.

Jan 24, 2012
Almost one year
by: Sandy

Thank you for the words. Shirley I have read your story many times and see that you comment often. The words we share are formed from the tragedy we have endured. Yesterday was the one year mark and it was terrible - its frightening to me how fast time moves on. Weather we want it to or not. prayed very hard and let myself be open to the grief. Its a heartache that we just have to learn to live with. I just dont know how our children can just be gone physically from our lives. ts true how life turns on a dime.

Jan 21, 2012
grieving mom
by: Anonymous

I too lost my son...17 months ago....he died of leukemia and he took a piece of my heart with him. I highly encourage you to go to a local Compassionate Friends meeting if you can. It has helped me tremendously. I also participate in The Compassionate Friends facebook page. There is so much support there. Sending hugs your way.
Shirley in Calif.

Jan 20, 2012
by: Anonymous

I have never lost a child. I did lose my beloved husband Jim on the 1st of November 2011. The one constant thread I am seeing and that really makes any sense to me is: one step, one breath, one day.
I cannot nor will I say that I know the grief you are suffering because I do not. I know mine and it is even different from everyone elses. We all grieve differently.
I extend my hand to help you to cope in your time of sorrow. That is all I can do and will be here should you ever want to talk or just need a friend.

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