Almost Three Months
(Watertown, CT USA)
Well, here I am....it'll be 3 months on April 9th since my husband Freddy passed away suddenly from a fall in our house. I didn't think I would still be sitting here able to write about it again. I have had such terrible bouts crying that I couldn't breathe. I have begun crying at 2 of my doctor appointments. One of them would not let me leave until I talked to someone. They put me in an empty exam room to wait until the woman was free. I sat there alone for close to half an hour. It was one of the worst times for me. The Social Worker who I talked to did not help at all. Her specialty is in counseling people with cancer. I actually don't even think about myself at all now. I feel like if it returned, I wouldn't even care. I just want to go see my husband. I fall asleep every night listening to the meditations I downloaded from this site. They are a great help to me. I literally fall asleep with the ear buds in and wake up listening still and have to take them out so I can roll over. I don't think I can sleep without those tapes. I wish there were more to download. Maybe Jennie can do another set. Valentine's Day was very difficult as was St. Patrick's Day. My husband was half Irish. I dug out one of the first St. Patrick's Day cards he gave me. It said on the front, "From The Wee Bit of Irish In Me". I thought that was so cute. The card has to be at least 25 years old, seeing it again made me cry. May 16th would have been our 34th wedding anniversary. I'm already dreading it. I still can't believe he won't be home in a little while. God bless all...........!