Alone, unemployed and full of grief.

by SAW
(Phoenix, AZ)

It seems like death has been a part of my life since I can remember. I normally deal with loss pretty well but this last year or so have just been brutal for me. It all seemed to have started with my husband running off without explanation. He's not dead but this was a horrible shock and definitely a serious grieving process for me. After several months I started to feel a bit better and started to feel like I was moving forward again. Then it seems as if every time I get up something knocks me down again. 18 months of not being able to obtain a job has taken its toll on me. I've applied for over 400 positions at this point and have lost count of how many rejections I received after jumping through all the hoops to get a job I'm more than qualified for. Along with these personal difficulties I've lost many people this year. It's crazy! I live on the opposite side of the country from where I grew up and where all my family lives. Four of my neighbors from where I grew up have passed in the last year! Plus 2 cousins. Then on my birthday at the end of June my little boy Scooter died! He was such a sweet boy. I know many people don't see animals and humans as the same when it comes to loss but I'm not one of them. I've never been fortunate to have human children of my own so my dogs are my children. Now we are in November and in the last month I have lost my aunt and uncle and the apple of my eye Mischief my little pom of 12 years has a very aggressive form of cancer and has gone blind and doesn't have much longer. I'm so devastated! So sad! So heartbroken! I feel all alone in the world and like I can't catch a break! I feel so empty except for the sadness and pain much of the time. I have so few people left in my life at this point and now my greatest companions are leaving me too! I'm the sort of person who usually bounces back from life trials pretty quickly but all this at once and not much support or help in my life now is really taking its toll. I'm feeling so lost and beaten down. I really don't know what to do and everything I try seems to fail.

Comments for Alone, unemployed and full of grief.

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Nov 30, 2013
by: Anonymous


Nov 30, 2013
Alone, unemployes and full of grief
by: Doreen UK

SAW this is one of the worst types of loss in the world when so much throws you down and you feel you can't get up. Take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Live for that day and try and NURTURE yourself back from grief. Do as many nice things for yourself each day and don't stop. This will raise your self esteem and allow you some breathing space. You sound like a positive person always trying your best to recover and now it is all too much and you can't be bothered to try. Many of us have times like this and it is good you are reaching out to others to help encourage and spur you on your way. I don't know if you believe in God. But I bless my day by starting with "This is the day the Lord has given." "I will be glad and rejoice in it." Whatever comes your way the Good Lord is open to carry you through with His Blessing on your life. I love pets and if your dog or cat etc. is part of your life this should be respected. "DON'T EVER GIVE UP!" "A Quitter never wins, and A WINNER NEVER QUITS. This means that you never give up on getting a job. You give yourself a break. Do something nice, then start again. Invite God into your trials and need of a job. Then go and buy another dog and start a new relationship. Do this with all your pets. Keep a dog journal of your story and you will have this forever to read of your adventures. Then go take a break and visit with your relatives. This break may be just what you need. A good VACATION. Whenever everything is stacked against us and we have no one to help pick us up reach out to other people and to God. God is the one who picks me up and lets me help pick up others when they are feeling down. I wish you better days ahead and please write back with an update. Best wishes.

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