My dad passed away in Sept 2012 and my mom (who was my best friend) in 2006. I am only child -- my sister died when she was 10 1/2 years old and I was 2. I do have spouse who is supportive to a point but we also lost his dad in 2006 and his mom 2010. He had a breakdown last year over his mother's sudden passing after she had an operation on a fractured femur (never came out recovery) the night before his birthday. And the day before my 50th birthday this year (Oct 2012), we had to put down our beautiful little Shih Tzu Holly who was our first dog for both my husband and I. I was also not able to have children so they have become our children. I feel so overwhelmed with grief and loneliness and now have to clean out my parent's home which is filled with some much as well as all the memories. I feel so much pressure right now along with dealing with the losses .. it's so hard. I've taken care of my parents my whole life and now it's so empty. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore... no one at work wants to exchange gifts this year ... neither do my cousins which is the only family I have left. I know I have to stop focusing on myself because there are lots of hurting people but I just don't feel good enough to do anyone else any good. Again, as mentioned, I feel I am being "pushed" to clean out my parents home by 1/15/13 since there is a potential it might be sold ... and I know I have to let go but it's so very complicated and overwhelming! Thanks for listening .. I guess I wished the Mayan calendar would be correct and this week we would all be joined again with our loved ones. I know that will happen some day but it just hurts so much right now. Thank you and God Bless.