Am I Crazy

I was sitting in the park watching my grandson at play, there he was. Suddenly, Leroy was there, in uniform, smiling at me. Am I going crazy? Was he really there? He wasn't even on my mind. Yet, there he was smiling at me and my grandson playing.
Will I ever be able to let him go?

Comments for Am I Crazy

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Oct 28, 2010
for Judy
by: Mari

Judy it looks like we lost our sweethearts 6 days apart. I know you must have been through so much as I have. I too feel comfort when I feel his presence.I doubt that I can ever love anyone else and will always miss him. But I have healed some. I am just a little anxious with so much coming up next month.

I am so sorry about your loss but we will see our loved ones again.

There is so much going on in Nov. I will plan the memorial service for my husband which will be on Nov 21 after church. My daughter wants to plan the baby shower for my grandaughter on the 13th and have it at the church hall. She also has plans for my birthday which is the 20th. So hopefully all 5 of my children can be there as one is in San Antonio. I know I will remember how much my husband wanted to take me out on my birthday but was too sick. But I know too that I want my children with me at that time.

I have requested no gifts. My children are my gifts. So was my husband. God loaned him to me until we can meet again. The coming baby will bring joy and healing. My husband would be telling everyone in town about being a great grandpa. It is a mixture of joy and sorrow. But I must go through all this and my daughter will take care of most of it.

How I miss him. I always will. But I am thankful for the years we shared. Take care. No one is crazy here. We are grieving. God bless you Judy. Mari

Oct 26, 2010
Me too

Guess I am crazy as well because I can feel him around me keeping an eye out for me, My guardian angel making sure that I am o.k. I have felt as if I were walking into him, merging. Wishful thinking grief? Dunno. I do not understand quantum physics or what the mind is capable of.
Regardless, just go with it you are a rational person who misses Leroy Very much...

Oct 26, 2010
For Judy
by: Mari

I talk to my husband's picture. I tell him how much I love him and miss him. I tell him I hope he likes the way I am fixing the house and that he will always be the love of my life. I even put my cheek next to his in the picture.

The grandkids are used to this and they don't think I am crazy. They only think I am ''a little weird'' for talking to ''Grandpas's plant.'' I say things like,''Oh. You have a new baby.'' I talk to him while driving too. I miss him beside me. He would always be a passenger in my car. He used to say that if he drove my car and something happened to it, he would never hear the end of it. He was a back seat driver too. Now I sit there in silence wishing he would be there telling me how to drive.

I also miss the kisses on my cheek and his admiration of my painting and my decorating, how he would hug me and say,''Sweetheart, you did all that? That looks beautiful.'' How I miss him. My heart aches for him. You are not crazy at all Judy. You just miss your love like i miss mine.

Oct 26, 2010
You are not crazy
by: Judy

Grief is so different for each of us. I have not had an experience such as you describe but I still feel Barry's thoughts with me, and I still talk to him, sometimes aloud which can be disconcerting if someone happens to hear me. But nuts to them. I still miss my best friend. It'll be a year on 11/28/10. God I miss him. If you see Leroy it's because your heart needs him near. Don't be afraid. You're not crazy.


Oct 25, 2010
Am I crazy
by: Jules

No - you're not crazy - of course he was there - you love him, he will always be with you - I find it very comforting when I know John is around me, I feel him, haven't seen him, but I do feel his presence. Be happy knowing that your love will never die. You will move on, but he will always be a part of you, especially with your grandchildren around.

Oct 25, 2010
For ; Am I crazy?
by: Mari

I just had to comment on this. You are not crazy at all. When you lose a person you love and are grieving, things like what you described can and do happen.

The grief pastor from the funeral home said these are memories. This person was a part of you and losing this person is losing part of yourself. Of course you will see him again someday in heaven. I am truly sorry for your loss.

My husband passed away Nov 22 2009. A few months later I was painting a unit here. It was a unit he used to take care of. I decided to go in and touch up the base boards. Everything else was done and I had it rented. I put down a cover to protect the rug and got the paint ready. I was not thinking of my husband at that moment as I just concentrated on the baseboards.
All of a sudden my husband came to my mind so strong and his name and I thought,''Oh my God. He is here.'' I felt a rush go through my body and he was behind me and then by my side watching me paint. I kept painting and looked out the corner of my eye but did not see him. He sure was there though. I felt his presence so strong and he watched me for about 10 minutes and then was no longer there.

I also had a dream which involved my son and daughter talking to me standing by the bed. I woke up trying to respond. Well, there off to the side of the room was my husband in his uniform and he was watching me. I was fully awake by then and he just faded away. My son and daughter had vanished of course but there was my husband. This was a dream that turned into a vision. He looked handsome and healthy, younger.
I called the pastor again. The grandkids have seen him and we have all smelled his cologne and felt his presence. ''Grandpas chair'' rocks by itself sometimes. My 12 yr old grandaughter says,''Well. Grandpa is visiting from heaven again.''

It has been almost a year now. These kinds of things have lessened but I still feel his presence.

So you are fine, not crazy at all. Time is a great healer. I am doing better but still miss my husband and his hugs. I stay as busy as I possibly can, have church 4 times a week, and manage the complex. Take care and keep posting. God bless you. Mari

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