Am I Crazy.

by Susan
(Australia)

My husband has been gone for 14 weeks tomorrow. I have some ok days but I think it is getting harder now. I am having some very irrational thoughts and I would like to know if others are experiencing the same thing.

John (my husband) and I have some very close friends that we went out with a lot. They have been here for me all the time and I can't thank them enough but yesterday my daughter saw the husband and he was buying flowers for his wife and this made me jealous because I don' t have this anymore. Another thing is this same couple went out with another couple doing something that the four of us used to do and I am jealous because I think that we are being replaced. Am I going insane?

Comments for Am I Crazy.

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Jan 28, 2012
No you are not crazy just very sad
by: Anonymous

I lost my wonderful husband suddenly on Oct 8th 2011 he was playing hockey.
I am living through a fog and it seems to be getting thicker and thicker.Tears well up even more frequently than at first and nothing seems to be worth living for.I am slowly sorting out his affairs. But my anger of being left with a daunting task of sorting out his business and his chaotic affairs has subsided and am now only realising how utterly bereft and alone I feel.I miss him so much my heart is breaking.I don't care yet about what other people/friends are doing, but I can appreciate watching a friend going through such bereavement would be uncomfortable as there is nothing you can do to make them feel better, it has given all our friends a reality check that life is short.

Jan 23, 2012
the same
by: Helen

I know how you feel I lost my husband of 46 years on 1st november 2011 it gets harder all the time, he had spine cancer and other, he survived cancer 7 years ago, and he suffered for months with doctors not really taking the time to investigate properly I am not used to being without him some days I cope not too badly some days the sadness overwhelms me.
Only by faith and trust in God with a promise of a new tomorrow gives me the comfort I seek be strong when you can, cry when you need to, but most of all hang on and take one day at a time this is all we can do, God bless You

Jan 22, 2012
7 Weeks for me lost my wife
by: David K

I lost my wife 7 weeks ago to a tragic car accident. I know what your feeling and I know the pain. Suicide was on my mind on a daily basis and was even reading websites how to do it, planning my letter and my will. But suicide is to escape the pain, their is no other reason for suicide our minds want a break from the pain.

I'll tell you what's working for me. I bought these GRIEF meditation CD's they are 8 CD's 5 of them are steps of grief. Then one is Affirmations I listen to each day and the other two I haven't started yet are morning and night time listens. Each is 20 minutes. They have helped me a lot. (Editor's note: These audio programs are available here:
Grief Relief


For sleep at night, I use natural Melatonin from your health store. Take 15-20 mg each night to help you sleep. Worked for me.

I've also been taking Vitamins on a regular basis. You need the B vitamins the most and Omega 3 is important. I take a bunch more than that.

Take a trip somewhere that is away from the memories if you can. Give your mind a break, you need a break, a pause in the extreme grieving your going through.

I lost Candice Dec 3rd 2011. I'm crushed but I'm trying my best to move forward. Either that or curl up in a ball of pity and cry in the corner each day. It's not healthy and it's PAINFUL. Both are painful but my path is a bit less painful. I still cry every single day.

Jan 21, 2012
Be gentle on yourself
by: Jackie

I am so sorry for your loss. I have the same feelings you have. I get upset when friends complain about there husbands I think at least you have one. My husband died nov. 2010. I get jealous when I see people holding hands. I ask myself why do they still have their husband and mine went to be with the lord. I miss the snuggling at night, the phone calls when will you be home. I hate returning home to a empty house. I have a wonderful loving dog who is happy to see me return. I wish I had a rewind button on life to go back in time. I did not get to say goodbye or the last I love You. He has a massive heart attack and was gone in a blink of a eye. This is a wonderful website. It helps to know what you are going thru is normal among grieving people. If you have a grief group you can join it is very helpful. I found comfort knowing I could say anything and people could relate to my loss. I had friends who avoided talking to me I guess they felt uncomfortable not knowing what to say afraid to make me cry. I always cry anyway so I guess they do not know that. May God be with you on this journey of Grief.

Jan 20, 2012
never feel that way
by: Anonymous

I first looked at this site to find comfort for just me. i lost my husband and my dad at the same time. I just didn't know that they both went so close. I was with my dad when he passed.
I didn't know that my husband was passing at the same time. I have so many feelings for the why,or what if, that sometimes I feel that I am the person that should have been there for both at the same time. But they were in 2 different states... I know that I couldn't be in 2 places at once. But I will always live with the what if and the why not. My life is always where I should have been and where I was. I am trying to go forward and live with the what if. But, I can't and won't do that for long.

Jan 20, 2012
Grief is crazy
by: Zoe

By definition grief is pure insanity. It throws you first one way then another so that you cannot get your footing no matter how hard you try.
You look at these friends who are moving on with their lives how can you do that the clife you had with these people are gone. Of course you are angry and jealous you want your life back.
The thing is that woman who went out with these friends she is gone she disappeared the minute you lost your beloved. Your time is moving different than theirs and you have to find out who the person is now.
Grief is different for each of us, but the first thing we all realize is that our lives are stopped and redefined at the moment of their death. Those around you will start moving on and we make them uncomfortable. Remember we are the embodiment of what it means to loose.
Come here when you need to
We understand and we are here to listen
And when all else fails
One breath one step one day at a time

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