About seven weeks ago we lost two-long time family friends who were like parents to us. They died within a few days of each other. Last week the father of one of my dearest friends died and at the same moment my cat fell seriously ill. Today I found out that my mother may have leukemia. In addition, our landlord whom we love just got diagnosed with inoperable spine cancer.

One after the other, one after the other in seven weeks. Last night I'd prayed to God to not send more illnesses and/or deaths into my life. I thought the stream of bad luck was over. Then I get this call from my mother to tell me about the leukemia possibility.

Believing that something is going on in the universe, God is doing this for a reason, I spoke to a friend who said that there is indeed something going on, she knows a number of people who are getting very ill and dying lately. We both agreed that this will probably continue.

That's where I'm at. I want to know what the going on. I don't want to think of my mother having leukemia.

My mindset from this chain of events is taking away from work I need to get done. I'm in shock and confused. I believe that God is doing this on purpose to me, and no one will dare tell me otherwise. I mean that in a possibly positive way, he's trying to teach me something for example. I pray that the people I love will be well, I have thoughts about what it will be like at their funeral and suddenly they get sick or die-- that is the pattern of the last couple of months.

I feel like a victim and not in control of my life. Because I know losses and deaths can take over one's life. My future is uncertain.

Comments for Amazed

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Nov 23, 2013
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for the losses in your life and for all the trials you are facing right now. Knowing God is in Control of the world and our lives is very comforting. Facing death and losing significant people from our lives in rapid succession often throws one off balance. God does put us through tests throughout our life if we are connected to Him. But God does nothing to cause us hurt and suffering. Just look at the Biblical characters and all they went through. Often we suffer the consequences of our choices we have made and this has nothing to do with God. God does stretch us to our fullest potential, but when we lose a close loved one it can often shatter our Faith for some time. This also is part of grief.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 18 months ago to cancer and he had a horrible 3yrs. battle of suffering. I couldn't understand such a loss. I was angry with God for some time because I prayed for Healing and my husband died. I didn't want to be angry with God, but this was also part of grief and I have recovered from this anger and my faith has been restored. I still have sad days knowing I have to live alone without my husband but this too is part of life. We can't take death and loss personally because God is in control. WE can only seek God for prayer of healing. God is still in control of our lives and this gives one the HOPE to go on in life. Be encouraged. Pray often and don't give up HOPE!

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