An angel named Killer has left my life

by Irma
(Chicago, il USA )

My nightmare began Monday morning for me I got up to take my child to school like I do most Mondays I was rushing to make daughter a plate of oatmeal and getting to the school- once I dropped my girl to school I came in the house and sat in the couch and notice my doggie killer was just lying down in the couch he look a bit not his self- I asked him to come to me but he didn't, I didn't make much of it just figure he would eventually just come to me - a few minutes later I began to kind of dose off in the couch when I heard a hard ugly stomp, to my amazement Killer had fallen out couch and he was collapsing on the floor his breading was completely different and he appear very pale not knowing what to do I called my husband and told "OMG Killer is dying" he instructed me to take him to a vet clinic near by- out of desperation I got in my car and drove to clinic the first thing the dr that seened him say was that he appear anemic because of his color- so she ordered some flood work, she pretty much told he appear to be dying. She sent me home and told me she would called me with the blood work results. 3 hours later she called me and told he his blood work showed him a12 hemocrit blood level she also said he needed a blood transfusion- or I should just consider putting down because he was suffering too much,! After doing some soul searching and going crazy I went into my saving and decided to go on and get the flood transfusion to an emergency clinic we paid $884.43 for the flood transfusion and some X-rays ! They pretty much told as to go home and leave there over nite the did the flood transfusion and it appear he took the blood well, the next day went well at the emergency clinic they told as all they had done was just bought some time for as and hurry up and take killer back to vet clinic who had recommended them so the could figure out what had brought killers blood so low-
We went back to vet and the vet who we saw look at the X-rays and he had a lump and it was cancer- naturally I had a huge nervous break down right in front of her- I was so devasted and hurt, and asked her could she removed the lump. She say yes and that she would do it the next morning while his blood was still high fom the transfusion but she also told as that if killer had the cancer else where she suggest he would be putt to sleep during the surgery. I pray to God and beg him to make the surgery a success and to just pretty please make him well, we left Killer at the vet office for surgery the next morning, she agreed that if things weren't good she would give me a call to proceed and put him to sleep. I got up praying a God to please let him have good surgery and to removed everything that could possibly be wrong with him- But instead I did get a call and it was to let me know that my baby had the cancer spreader all in his intestines and lower GI. I was so devasted and asked her to please not put him to sleep just yet. She told me to come to clinic right away. So I did my baby was lying in a operating table breading oxygen OMG it was the saddest thing that I had seen I felt so powerless and wished it was just a horrible nightmare- it wasn't minuted later she asked as to sign the paper to put him to sleep. I held my sweetheart in my arms till he took his last bread. And now feeling so sad and devasted!

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May 17, 2012
an update
by: Irma

Hello everyone,
its been a little over 3months since my sweet angel Killer has past away, and Oh God how I still miss him! I rushed and bought another puppy and know it wasnt a good idea-my new puppy looks a lot like Killer...I do know I rush in and emptionally I wan't ready to love again. But i want to say I put a bandaid in my heart.The pain for the loss of KIller is still very, very present and at times I feel guilty! But I hope when God reunits as he forgives me...Sometimes he visits me in my dreams, and in my fantasies.
Thank you to all the well wishers.
Irma

Feb 25, 2012
Killer
by: Kristy

I too lost my little angel, Porkchop, a long-haired dachshund. He had to be put down and I keep second-guessing myself.He was almost 16 years old.What makes it worse is that my little Francesca his sister is also in mourning and can't understand where her beloved brother is. We did try to show him to her but I don't think that she understood. It is agonizing! I honestly don't know how to get from one day to the next.So you see, I understand how you feel.I am praying for you and perhaps our grief will subside with time.We can offer each other support. I know that those who have never loved an animal do not seem to understand, but I promise you that those of us who have feel every bit of sorrow right along with you.May God be with you and comfort you in your grief.

Feb 22, 2012
Sorry for your loss
by: Kari

I am so sorry for all you went through. I had to put my dog Hobbes to sleep two days ago. We went into debt over all of his vet bills (he was undergoing chemo for a year) and sacrificed so much because of our love for him. We did not get a cure, we didn't even get remission, the cancer was aggressive and could only be slowed down, so we lived and loved him on borrowed time. I am so sorry for your loss and can relate to how you feel. I feel sick to my stomach, don't want to eat. ALl I have been doing is crying and it seems everything reminds me of him. Hugs to you.

Feb 12, 2012
Sooty left me last week
by: Janet

Sooty, my cat, went to the vet for major dental work but whilst under anesthesia - before dental work began, the vet discovered cancer on her tongue and throat. It was inoperable and could not be treated ... I received the dreaded call from the vet explaining the situation. I could not reach my husband so the terrible decision to euthanize my special friend was mine. I was devastated. I didn't want to let her go. But she was probably in pain and I had to make the kindest decision for her. Now I am so very sad.
I miss her terribly. My only consolation is that I made the right choice for Sooty and MY suffering and pain has begun...

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