An Unwanted Anniversary

by Lisa Baxter
(Spencer Iowa)

This is not an anniversary that you celebrate.
It’s the kind of anniversary that you sit quietly and reflect.
Today I go through pictures, listening to Dave Matthews and remembering…

It cannot be possible that time has marked one year since I last heard your voice –
I clearly hear your “Hey mom” on the other end of the phone, sounding tired and not like you.
I never dreamed it would be the last time.

Today, I look at your smiling face in so many stages of life;
From baby pictures to adulthood, I have collected your life in front of me
I sip wine from the crystal glasses you bought me one Christmas, not so long ago.

To honor your life and love of Christmas
Another child’s day will be fuller and another mother’s heart lighter
Because of the gifts we give in your name

There comes an inner peace now
Although the tears remain ever ready to emerge
And my love and loss are always present.

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