…and where do we go from here, which is the way that’s clear?
by Kim
(ISA)
It really is a beautiful, warmer, sunny day, and I can't even move away from this laptop and away from my journal, my pictures, and this site. I've been hoping for and needing a day like today, to be outside, to go for a walk, to just feel better, but I feel so lost. Tomorrow will be seven months since my husband died. I miss him so much and days like today make me miss him even more than than my imagination could ever dream. I still can hear his laughter, see his smile, feel his touch, and I can also know that he is free and at peace, but none of that is helping me to feel better today. I don't know where to go, what to do, can't see anything beyond the minute I'm in.
Comments for
…and where do we go from here, which is the way that’s clear?
Sometimes all we can do is survive minute by minute. I recall being angry when last spring came. Angry that he was not here to see it with me. Everything is bursting with new life yet his was gone. I know that you are tired of hearing it but it takes time until we can appreciate the beauty right outside our door. Eventually you will feel good as the sun hits your face and the warmth of the day relaxes your mind and body.
We loved them for...in my case 17 years we cannot expect ourselves to heal from love in months that took years to develop.
I can promise you that the heartache that you feel will get easier. It will never completely subside but eventually, we realize how lucky we were to have loved and been loved by such a wonderful man all those years.
Please come back here often to read, write and gain strength knowing that you are not alone. We all travel the same grief trail trying to walk wander and bump into eventual happiness. HH
finding the way by: Lisa
Kim, I wish there was a map that could guide us through this grief process - sadly, we're on our own. Mike died about 3 months ago and lately I am thinking of him constantly. Maybe the only way to get through this is to live in the minute, in the present - we can treasure the good times in the past, we can't change what happened and we don't know what the future holds. I try to be open to opportunities and not let grief to define my life or me as a person. I can say I am doing much better than the day I made my own post on this site - that gives me hope little by little I will recover from grief. Take care, Lisa
are the days really sunny? by: Anonymous
Kim, I am 4 months into this journey and I can relate to how you feel. The cold, snowy winter months were brutal because my loss was so new. I was hoping for sunny, warm days to get out of the house more. However, now that the sun is shining I still don't feel like going out alone to greet the world. These days remind me of the days my husband and I would just hit the road spur of the moment and head to Maine or NH for the weekend, or head out to dinner at someplace where we could sit outside on a sunny day! I am so sad that those days with my hubby are gone forever. I don't know where to go from here, but I do know it is a slow, painful journey. With God's help we will find our way one day at a time. Best of luck!
A muddy view for a while by: Judith in California
Kim, it been 7 months for me too and I'm exactly feeling the way you are. Peace is elusive and trying to catch air. I was doing pretty good and then it hit me so hard yesterday and the deluge is leaving me feeling beaten and worn. If anyone ever asks me if I've had a beating I'll tell them yes. Grief is as bad a beating you can get.
God bless you and take care of yourself those times when you can.
