My sister, died on Monday 23/10/12 at 3.30 am. She died from an aggressive form of front lobal dementia, and suffered terribly for 3 years. She was only 58, and left 2 children, a nephew, my mother and my sister. Although we all knew it was inevitable, nothing could have prepared me for the pain and grief that I now feel. She was only put to rest yesterday, and I have spent the day crying and not wanting to go out. I know my other sister is also distraught and I cant imagine what my poor elderly mother is feeling. The fact is all I have done today is look at her pictures, and listen to the music she used to listen to and cry and sob. I long to have her back again, but I know I will have to wait until its my time, before I can do this. Our lives will never be the same again. At this time I cant bear to be around people. especially anyone who talks about shallow, superficial things, so for now I only want to be on my own, and so does my sister, who I think is feeling even worse than me. I feel that I only want to do spiritual things and would love to go on a retreat, but unfortunately I don't have the money to do this. I don't want to wallow in self pity, I just want to find a way of coping with my grief and nothing worldly will help me to do this.
That's my story and when I feel able to, I will pray for anyone who may have lost a loved one, and feels the same pain as I do.