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Anniversary tommorrow; how will I survive?

by Donna
(Texas)

Click on each picture to enlarge

I lost my everything July 23, 2010. It has been really really tough, but my two girls have been my rock. I found your site a few days ago and have been reading and even writing once, and you guys sharing your thoughts and stories have helped me so much.

However, I am having a really hard day thinking about tomorrow, it's our anniversary, we were married on Oct. 4, 1986. I feel so lost. How am I suppose to deal with this day without Bryan? My girls live with me right now so I won't be alone, just lonely! I don't know how I'm going to make it through this I miss him soooooo much. We had plans to rent a room like we did last year.

We really didn't get to have a honeymoon 26 years ago. So our first official honeymoon was last year. At least we had that. I don't think I can do this without him, but I know that I have to. Oh God please help me!! I feel so lost and lonely!

Comments for
Anniversary tommorrow; how will I survive?

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surviving the first year
by:

I am by no means an expert on grief. Having gone through it for 11 months this OCT 6th I can only tell you that you try to survive the day. I often found myself saying a little prayer in the morning please just help me get through this day. After I got through the day tears or not, I thanked god for having the strength to survive it.

Some days totally numb unable to think. Others only thinking of HIM, unable to distract my mind away from the memories. Public crying, private weeping we have all been there. Your grief is new, raw and so painful, but eventually and there is NO time line here. You'll smile thinking of something that you two did together instead of crying.

I hope that you made it through the day. And that your days will get easier little by little.
HH
Its ok.
by: Jessica Herrmann

Its ok, You will make it. It will not be easy, and I know it will more than likely be one of the most painfull days to come, but you will be ok.

Mourn him. Cry for him. Be angry with him if you need. But feel your pain. Do not let others try and find something for you to do on that day. It was a very special day, and you need to revel in that.

My husband of 14 years passed on May 13.2009. Our anniversay was September 10th. I cried, I cried so hard that I didnt think I could cry anymore. No one can tell you how to deal with this day. But, we can tell you to allow your feelings to guide you. I did find that looking through our wedding pictures helped some, it also caused pain, and sorrow. There is no easy way to do this.

I have been through 2 birthdays (his), 2 anniversaries, and a set of holidays without him. They all hurt like the devil. But, I did make it.
Remember the strength he gave you, and your love. It will keep you in the coming trials you have.

If ever you need to talk, I am here.
anniversary tomorrow
by: jules

My love - you will survive because you have to - for your family - for yourself and for your lost love. I know how hard it is, and I respect your grief, it is so fresh. I am coming up to twelve months since my sweetheart passed, and it gets a bit easier with time, but just as you feel strong, something comes along to knock you back down again.

On the day, don't sit at home and cry, go for a walk somewhere you both loved to be, think of him, all the good times you had, the reason you got married and stayed married for so long - unconditional love - that means you love him in all conditions - even when he's not there. Just because they're gone, you don't stop loving them, it is just a different sort of love.

And he will be there with you, when you are walking, look for a butterfly, or a singing bird, or even a plane flying high overhead, and know that he is seeing those same things, just from a different perspective.
Stay strong, you will survive - you have too much to lose.
jules

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