Announcement

by KH
(Idaho)

I went back home for most of June and first part of July - first time since my father passed Dec 09. June is a hard month, I almost wish I waited to July because it's such a painful month, but I thought maybe being there would help - overall, I think it did. Even though you are surrounded by memories everywhere you look and even though it stings, it still helps somehow. June 4 - Daddy's birthday, June 6 - 1 1/2 yr mark, and June 19 - Father's day. It was rough, but I think I was a lot stronger being with so many people - when you are alone in your own thoughts, you become so much weaker. I've realized that I have grown a lot stronger now, I don't NEED people to distract me, or need to be alone so I don't have to face anyone in such a sad state - I'm just able to be (relatively) normal... Still battling different battles, but overall I'm surviving.
Anyways, the last week I was there my boyfriend came up with me. We got to announce the engagement to my parents, family, and friends. I knew I wouldn't be able to show daddy the man I love, the ring that he gave me, the dress that I bought, or to receive his blessing - but I had two mothers who loved me very much that would just as graciously do so. It wasn't until I left home and back to my "home away from home" that I realized how much it hurt to think about my wedding coming up and finalizing plans just to notice I don't have a daddy to walk me down the aisle and give me away and to have a father-daughter dance with. And, goodness, did that hurt. As it gets closer and the wedding becomes more real, I just see that more and more.
I've got to say that I never would have thought I'd get married this early in life - but I never expected that if I did, my father wouldn't be around to attend...
Everyday is a battle. Everyday is going to have a different struggle, different memory, different hurt. And, every holiday or special event is going to have a sting no matter how strong you've become. All we can do is get stronger by remember that they didn't leave us, they weren't taken from us, and it didn't happen so we would be in pain. Though it is hard to remember these things when you are mourning, please tell yourself this.

Comments for Announcement

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Jul 08, 2011
Daddy's Little Girl
by: TrishJ

My daughter too will be walking down the aisle without her dad. She will be married in September. Her dad passed away on December 3, 2010. He thoroughly approved of her fiancee. I tell my daughter every day that he is so much like her dad it scares me.
My daughter's best friend's dad passed away prior to her wedding. At the reception her uncle "filled in" for her dad during the father ~ daughter dance. They showed film of him (against a bare wall) while she and her uncle danced. Katie later told us that she actually felt like she was dancing with her dad.
It will be a bittersweet day but your dad will be with you. Just as my daughter's dad will be with her.
Blessings to you as you embark on this new chapter of your life.
PJ

Jul 08, 2011
Announcement
by: Donna

KH,
My daughter feels the same way, her dad died(omg I said it) July 23, 2010. She is so sad since her dad passed, every surgery, every holiday, hell every day. She cries when we talk about when she would have gotten married, how her daddy won't be there to walk her down the aisle and give her away. That's right now she is saying when she would have gotten married not when she does get married. I told her that I would do that for her, that since I had her dad tattoed on my back that it would be like he was there. She said no, that its not the same, I know that its not the same, but its the best I can do, maybe her future father in-law would walk her down the aisle, like mine did (that's a whole different story).I wish you and all of us going through this horrible journey lots of hugs and love. I go one day, one step, one breath at a time. I love you Bryan till we meet again

Jul 07, 2011
He will be there as you walk down the aisle
by: Anonymous

KH,

I often wonder if I am doing my part as your parent guiding you through the important steps of your life. In the end all I can do is listen and hope you will have a fraction of the love that Paul and I had.

We were not perfect, no one is. But still there was a magic that I knew from the start. Not lust something deeper that lasted for 17 years. Every time he walked through the door my heart rose.

I love you therefore I love and accept who you choose to love. You dad is watching over you and him with a baseball bat. Just kidding but you know its true. You were and will always be daddys little girl. He will be right by your side as you walk down the isle. You may not see him but you will feel him. Do not be surprised if you feel a little kiss on the cheek and a daddy hug. He will make his presence known in one way or another...
<3 HH

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