Another angle in Heaven and the Brightest star in the darkest of Skies
(Liverpool, United Kingdom)
I'm Clare from Liverpool, England. I am 21 years old and i lost the love of my life and my first true love on the 3rd of December 2012. My boyfriend of 7months Thomas, i know its only 7 months that we've been together and how could i know he was the one for me, well i can't explain it i just know he was and still is i knew the moment we set eyes on one another across the bar while he was working.
My tom had finished work on saturday morning around 5am on the 17th november and had gotten a taxi home to his Nan's house where he'd lived and cared for her for 7 years. His nan passed away on the 9th of August 2012. He saw his sister who was still up, she also works in the same bar tom does and was waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up. they sat up talking for a little while and He told her that he was going to see me in the afternoon and then said goodnight to caitlin and went to bed.
On the saturday afternoon around 1pm i had sent tom a few text messages and i had tried calling him a couple of times but there was no answer from him. I assumed that he was still asleep or had left his phone on charge and was watching his favourite football team Everton FC on the t.v. I tried a few more times but then left it i assumed he'd call me back when he was ready to. Around 3 or 4pm i had a call from his mum asking if i'd seen or heard from tom. I told her no and that i'd been trying to get hold of him to see if he was still coming down. his mum said not to worry and if she hears from him she'll let me and and me to do the same. I still hadn't heard from tom or his family the rest of the day until i got a call from a police officer at 6:30pm to tell me tom had gone missing and left his, mobile phone, coat and money on his bed. at that point my world just seem to stop and it was such a blur so hard to listen to the police man and to understand what was going on. Tom was texting me the friday night saying how much he loves me and i was texting him the same back which is normal for the 2 of us we are both so soft and romantic together. it was just so not like to to go out without his things. he'd been fine the friday night because i'd been round for tea an his family where there and he was laughing an joking like normal.
For 2 weeks we searched the streets all day and night, i couldn't sleep and i couldn't stop crying just hoping and praying he'd walk back through the door. sadly thats not the case, at 3am tom's body was found in stanley dock and i got the sad and shocking news at 5am by his big brother. I went to identify his body and it was sad knowing i couldn't touch him or hold him one more time and that he'd been found dead was one of the most heartbreaking things to me. I keep asking did he do it himself was the grief of loosing his nan too much for him to bare?, was there something more i could of done for him, or was this a punishment from someone for no reason. Tom is a complete gentle man with a heart of gold and he made me the happiest girl in the world. His mum, dad and the rest of his family and friends keep telling me that i made him the happiest man alive and that they could see that in his face an in his body language he would talk about me none stop . we would tell each other a lot how much we love one another and how lucky and happy we are together.
I just miss him so much the pain is unbearable and suffocating, i feel i'm going to be alone now for the rest of my life now because i'm not the type of girl who goes out drinking and stuff i'd rather not, i was lucky to meet tom that night because i was forced out the night we met, i think that was fate,i usually say no an stay in. So i am so so scared that i've lost my one change of love and a happy life. I don't no what to do any more am i destined to be alone now?
from a heartbroken lonely girl xxx