Another Year

by Cynthia Jones
(Pleasant Hill, LA )

Well Monday will be 2 years since my sweet baby left. I just had to go through his birthday last month without him. My baby had just turn a year old when he passed away. I tell you this does not get easier for me as time go on. I just think about the memories that we had together and I just start crying. I find myself crying on the way to work, at work, when I leave work, and in bed at night. I just pray everyday that the Lord continue to make me strong. Cause I remember up until a year I use to think about taking my life all the time. Because I felt like I just could not live without him. I did everything with him. He was my life. I didn't work then so I was always at home with him. When I went somewhere he always with me. When he died I lost my companion. So I just felt all alone. I just hope and pray that the Lord continue to strengthen me because I once was at a very low point in my life. I don't think I'll experience anything as hurtful as this has been. I just have to live my life the right way so that one day we can be reunited again.

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Aug 12, 2011
so sorry
by: Anonymous

Cynthia...I lost my son 1 year and 3 days ago. There are some days that I think I'll be ok and others where I feel like all I want to do is die. No rhyme or reason to it at all. My son was 23 and was becoming the most amazing man. I was so proud of him. He fought for two years to live and in the end, in spite of all my prayers, God decided to take him to Heaven. I wonder if I'll ever be the same again. I found this quote on the Grieving Mothers facebook site and it made some kind of sense to me:

A medieval rabbi, Leon Modena, expressed the truth of prayer as follows: Imagine a man in a boat who is pulling himself to shore. If one did not know better, it could appear that he is pulling the shore to himself. But indeed, it is the one... in the boat who is being moved, because the shore is fixed. So it is, he said, with prayer. We think that when we pray we are moving God closer to our will. But true prayer does quite the opposite: It moves us closer to God's will.

I guess I'll have to accept God's will somewhere along the way but I have a feeling that it may be awhile. Hugs to you.
Shirley

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