anything is better than this

I met a guy through a friend and he seemed kind and genuine at first and then a couple months in he told me that he was still technically married and going through a divorce (I was already emotionally attached by now) I thought of ending it but I didn't. I always had a feeling he wasn't right for me but I thought I was being hard on him because he is a marine and had some ptsd. But man, was he cold and unsensitive. He would show me love and take it away. I felt trapped because I foolishly thought I couldn't leave a hurting man, so I thought. He was never jealous, not that I want a jealous man but I slowly realized he just didn't care, he couldn't care right now. So as I fell more in love he remained haulted emotionally. Then his roommates gf moved into his house, then 2 other girls and when I told him my concern he acted like I was crazy. I'm not crazy, something just wasn't right about "us". I love him but I love my self a hell of a lot more than him. So for my own happiness, I ended it, its painful because I'm left with the what's ifs, or maybe just a little longer things would have changed. Nope. Never again.

Comments for anything is better than this

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May 19, 2012
not settle for little
by: Esther

I love it when you said that you love him but you love yourself a hell lot more than him! Wonderful! It gives me courage to not settle for little. Thank you...

May 06, 2012
You deserve better!
by: Sharon

When I met Gary, I told him that I didn't want to get involved. He asked me why and I told him "love hurts."
Everyone who was in my life, used me and abused me in the name of love. I didn't know what real love was.
Well, Gary let me know. He loved me no matter what size I was, no matter my moods, and no matter how much I tried to push him away.
I learned to trust, be gentle, and love myself in the process. I learned when I hurt him, I hurt myself more. That is what love is. You deserve better.
Gary passed almost a year ago. I miss him terribly. I will love again and I will not settle for less. Hang it there. You deserve real love too!

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