(Arms wide open - Allie Bart )

by Gina

Whenever I hear that song by creed called with arms wide open I think of the moment when my oldest brother Bart died. That was the song on the radio the moment he passed. The song starts out well,I just heard the news today, it seems my life if going to change. I am the youngest girl of six children and he was my oldest brother. We were like the Brady bunch except the three boys were born first and then three girls, We had the closest relationship out of any one in our family. I miss him so much, when he died i felt like a part of me died. My heart hurts, a scar that runs so deep is evident. My brother started having kidney dialysis treatments and did well for a few years and then started to go down hill. I know now he is in a better place and has no more pain.
Some valuable words he said to me growing up - you are number one, look out for yourself, nip it at the bud and I love you . Lord knows I love you my brother Bart. I miss you and mom and dad. Someday I will see you all in heaven. I feel so alone. My other two brothers do not talk, call or visit my two sisters and myself. What a shame. If anything happens to my sis Rosey I will crumble. She is my best friend. Stress is a very hard thing for your health, we lost my dad first , my mom, my brother, my future mother in law and father in law. Each feeling is different. My dad and mom passing were totally different than when my brother died. I have to pause now for a moment to dry my eye as I am crying nonstop. It still feels like it was yesterday. I will cherish the time we had together, the laughs we had, going out together to the movies, dinner, a restaurant, a car show, we did so much together, to my brother, as I,told dad, of all my favorite things to do, I love to sit and think of you. I love you big brother. RIP.
Signed your baby sister
Gina xoxoxo

Comments for (Arms wide open - Allie Bart )

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Mar 20, 2014
(Arms wide open - Allie Bart )
by: Doreen UK

Gina I am so sorry for your loss of your older brother Bart. It is so difficult a grief to bear when you lose a close loved one. The relationship you had with your brother will hurt more due to the strong bond you had with each other. There are 5 girls and one boy in our family and the only drawback is that there is more to fall out with and not get on at times. Hard often to resolve some issues especially when jealousy can also be a difficult cross to bear. Then there are the parents who may not mean to treat one better than another but happens quite often. There just may be one child who becomes a favourite due to being an easy child to bear and can cause problems within the family. I am describing my family and I guess other people can feel as if I am describing them also.
It is also a fact that one sibling may get on better with one and cause difficulties with the other siblings. WITH MATURITY. A lot of issues can be resolved. But when deaths happen in the family it can either draw loved one's together or they could walk away. I have had both happen in my family. I lost my mom 11yrs. ago today and my husband died 22 months ago and I have lost one sister and one has stayed close and been very supportive. Three live in other countries so this would make it more difficult to be in relationship other than my email or Skype. Life is difficult and just having family helps one to cope with life when you have laughter and fun in it. Then this turns to mourning when loved one's die. It is hard to get past this. It is only time that will help all of us to HEAL so we can go on in life. I hope you can one day heal the distance between you sisters and your 2 surviving brother's. It is possible for one of you to help in drawing each other together. It is worth a try. So you can live with less regrets should any one of you die. You would wish you had done it sooner. But I do realise often there is no resolution in relationships to help them work out.

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