As if we were not grieving enough

by Nomsa Nkwanca
(Johannesburg, South Africa)

My only Brother Thapelo Nkwanca passed on on 24 May 2012 and laid to rest 2 June 2012. What a terrible loss, a terrible week and unforseen battles that one never ever thought would come up chose his passing to show their ugly presence.

But you know what Thapelo, your cousin Makhaya took care of everything. He shielded the family from enduring more hurt and rather focussed our attention to giving you a dignified burial that you deserved. Makhaya arrived all the way from Eastern Cape 3 days after your passing my brother and he just took control of the situation and played a critical role in bringing sanity and rational in all that was going on.... He performed all this like a loving brother. Like it was his last assignment. He loved you dearly you know !! By the way.....He told me that you told him Doctors had given you three months to live but he must not tell me!!!!

After your funeral he has planned to stay with mom and I until the end of July before going back home in the Eastern Cape. Guess what? around the end of June he suddendly fell ill, was admitted in hospital on 30th June and passed on 1 July. Exactly a month after your burial. That destroyed the family - the very person we were relying on - the very person who was trying hard to fill the void you left - the very person who wanted to ensure that mom and I are coping well before he goes back home just dies, just like that.

The pain and agony of having to call Eastern Cape and pass the sad news. Despite Mom's ill health she felt obligated to "take Makhaya" back home. The pain of handing over a body to our family of someone who came to assist us cope with your passing was devastating. Yho we miss you both terribly!! It is real - you are both gone gone gone.....funny that before his passing but after your passing I dreamt as if both of you were sitting together in the lounge watching TV. I told him about the dream and he just laughed it off as he normally does...you know him moss he never took things too seriously....

anyway my brothers rest in peace. You are dearly missed and will remain forever in our hearts. 2012 will go down as one of the worst years in the family. Mom is trying hard to cope - she is in and out of hospital but God has been good .....
Nomsa Nkwanca

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