At a Crossroad....Advice needed.
I am in a relationship with a man that I met through an online dating site nearly five yr's ago. I was in a very long relationship, for nearly 20 yr's prior to this. My partner met another woman and left me for her. We never married but he practically raised my two girls. They were 3 and 5 at the time we met. I was very hurt and angry of course, but I also had to believe that he wasn't completely bad-he raised two girls as if they were his own. I was single for about a yr. and then I decided to date. I dated for a few mo's.Met some nice guys. Then I met the man I am engaged to now. He has no children and has never been married. He was very career oriented and decided to not have children because he suffers from a muscular disease and he didn't want to risk passing it onto a child. His brother also has it. He was very up front about it when I met him. He was walking and doing fairly well. I eventually moved in and for about a yr., or so, it was pretty good. Then my daughter who was 26- was killed. We had been talking about marriage but he said he wasn't quite ready yet. He wanted to marry me but hadn't asked. My daughter was killed in Sept.09. He supported me emotionally as best as he knew how. His health started declining and now he is unable to walk. We both were/are going through life changing events and grieving a loss. We have tried to support one another over the last couple yr's, but it hasn't been easy. He tries to understand my hurt, my loss,but never having children of his own makes it hard, for him to understand the magnitude of my pain. He did ask me to marry him this past Feb. I said yes and I do love him but I am starting to feel that his needs(help with doing things) is more than I can handle. He is pretty self sufficient but I know as time goes by, he will need more help. I felt I had the emotional reserve and strength prior to my daughters death to do this..now I have doubt. I have given it nearly a yr. to try and figure out what to do? The first yr. after my daughters death I knew I couldn't even consider making any big decisions. Love is a very strong and powerful emotion as all know. I am just not sure if it is enough. I just feel that I am at a crossroads and I am not sure which road is the right one to take. I want to do what is right for not only myself, but for him. I don't want my stress and pain to take even a bigger toll on him.