Baby Brother RIP

by Devon

My little bro (18) passed away in September. He had a very troubled life. He was a twin, but his brother died at birth, something no one should ever have to endure. He grew up autistic, unable to socially comprehend the world around him. It was the little things that amused him. The way the television flashed, what made a bird fly, the composition of elements that made us. He was very smart, and always tried to understand things beyond comprehension. His mind was a snowball, constantly accumulating ideas as it rolled across the plane of knowledge (something he had written in his journal). But the world took its toll on him. His troubles magnified as he got older; he became catatonic, and required constant medication. He had to be hospitalized as he would never really be himself under this medication. It was a terrible process to see. To watch slowly as my brother faded from this world. I felt helpless. All I could do was watch. It was as if there was some kind of wall between us, that no matter what I tried, could not be breached.

One final night, after coming home from work. My family noticed he was not home. We immediately looked everywhere throughout the house. He was gone. I frantically drove downtown, where he liked to walk (a 5 hour walk from our house). I searched everywhere, but had no luck. For the next 3 days, we scoured the city, with friends, family, and people we never met helping out. If only He had known how much he meant to all of us.

We found his body in the river 3 days after. That was the day my world shattered. I am putting it back piece by piece, but it will never be the same with out him. He was a piece that made me who I am. Now I am lost.

The only solace I have is knowing he is with his brother he never met. That the troubles of this world are no more. He will never be forgotten. I keep a memento of him tattoo'd on my arm. Something that will grow with me. Something to remember him by. But the memory of him will never be enough.

Rest in peace my brother.

Jarrett Bortscher
February 17 1994 - September 26, 2012

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Nov 06, 2012
Baby Brother RIP
by: Doreen UK

Devon I am sorry for your loss of your brother in a tragic death. To lose a brother will be the most painfull experience to bear. someone who was part of your family. Your blood relative. Your friend, your companion throughout life. A life cut short and from one so very young. The sad fact is your brother had a poor quality of life yet he made the most of his disabilities. There comes a point for all of us when enough is enough and we can't hold onto life. Who knows the pain in the soul of an individual who is limited in life by his inability to live life to the full and can't fulfull the life that is needed in order to survive. My heart goes out to you in compassion as you try to move forward in life without your brother. It will take a lot of time in grief but give yourself the time and space to honour the brother you lost and the hope of seeing him again one day. Know that his suffering is over. Ours is just beginning as we grieve our losses. When we lose people from our life it makes life more lonlier. All you can do as a young person is to fill your life with new people and new memories that will carry you through life and enrich it. We all have our families for such a short time and we really don't know how long any of us have to live on this earth. Make the most of your young life. You will be HAPPY again and you will move forward a stronger person. At the moment it feels as if you will never recover. All we see what is in front of us. HOW are we going to go on? But we do.

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