Baby Brother RIP
My little bro (18) passed away in September. He had a very troubled life. He was a twin, but his brother died at birth, something no one should ever have to endure. He grew up autistic, unable to socially comprehend the world around him. It was the little things that amused him. The way the television flashed, what made a bird fly, the composition of elements that made us. He was very smart, and always tried to understand things beyond comprehension. His mind was a snowball, constantly accumulating ideas as it rolled across the plane of knowledge (something he had written in his journal). But the world took its toll on him. His troubles magnified as he got older; he became catatonic, and required constant medication. He had to be hospitalized as he would never really be himself under this medication. It was a terrible process to see. To watch slowly as my brother faded from this world. I felt helpless. All I could do was watch. It was as if there was some kind of wall between us, that no matter what I tried, could not be breached.
One final night, after coming home from work. My family noticed he was not home. We immediately looked everywhere throughout the house. He was gone. I frantically drove downtown, where he liked to walk (a 5 hour walk from our house). I searched everywhere, but had no luck. For the next 3 days, we scoured the city, with friends, family, and people we never met helping out. If only He had known how much he meant to all of us.
We found his body in the river 3 days after. That was the day my world shattered. I am putting it back piece by piece, but it will never be the same with out him. He was a piece that made me who I am. Now I am lost.
The only solace I have is knowing he is with his brother he never met. That the troubles of this world are no more. He will never be forgotten. I keep a memento of him tattoo'd on my arm. Something that will grow with me. Something to remember him by. But the memory of him will never be enough.
Rest in peace my brother.
February 17 1994 - September 26, 2012