Bad things happen to good people by Leigh

by Kristina

The perfect family. That is what people thought about us. Five kids, two loving parents and a big house over our heads. We were living with no worries everyday. We had enough food, enough money, and more than enough love. My father really helped the family come together. Worked long, hard hours but always still managed to be there for us. Was there to teach us all the things fathers should like how to swim, ride a bike and even how to swing a bat. Life was perfect but I never noticed it till now. I took everything for granted everyday. Never realized how short life can be. It was a summer night when it happened. He complained of heart pains and thought nothing serious of it. Such a sad story it is. He closed his eyes to go to sleep not knowing that they would never open again. Leaving his wife and kids, he made his way to the better side of life. With him leaving a part of me did too. Never would be the same after that night. All the prayers and cries unanswered. My mother's tears that fall every night, painted on her face. Taking care of five kids by yourself is so hard and unfair. Somehow she manages to do it with a big smile on her face. I know the pain she had but it's amazing what a smile can hide. I can see the sadness on my siblings faces even when they laugh. We can all see the pain we hide but for some reason never say a word about it. I now look back on those days and am so jealous about my old self, my old family,my old life. As much as I want things to be the same I know they never can be. There will always be pain and sadness and tears that will never dry. There will always be an open spot in the drive way and extra room on my mothers bed that was never there before. There will always be an extra seat at the dinner table and a voice missing from each holiday we share. But I know we are strong enough to make it though. I guess life is just a game to gamble, you never know what might happen.

Comments for Bad things happen to good people by Leigh

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Apr 04, 2014
Dear Leigh,
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry that you and your family are struggling now. I also lost my father - in January, 2013. He went to play golf one day, collapsed on the course, and died. That was it. I now look at my life as "before" and "after". I took each day for granted, never imagining that my dad would not be around. I am a grown woman, I have a family of my own, but I still felt like a Daddy's girl - I am an only child. My parents were together 50 years, and her heart is broken - she struggles to get through each day, and it is so hard for me to watch because there is nothing I can do to make her feel any better. I know how you feel, and I can tell you that it gets a bit easier with time, but try to take things one day at a time, and at your own pace. I wish you comfort, peace and healing in the coming days. Hugs to you, Barb

Apr 04, 2014
Bad things happen to good people by Leigh
by: Doreen UK

Kristina I am sorry for your loss of your father. Coming from a functional HAPPY FAMILY! is something we all take for granted. I think life is meant to be like this. No use thinking of negative things that can happen, or may never happen till they appear. God gave us life and we are meant to be happy. It is distressful for families when this happy family unit is broken by death. There is no easy way to die. But I think your father was blessed even in death that he passed away in Peace, perhaps like how he lived, and was the order of his life.
My heart goes out to your Mom, You, and your siblings left to struggle. And Yes there will be great days of struggle. I hope you have other supportive extended family and friends to help you all with your grief. This does help. I had this tremendous support when I lost my husband and it helped my grief journey.
My husband died of a deadly cancer so he did not have a peaceful death. He died in severe pain. I nursed him for over 3yrs. and had to watch him die a slow death. I had to look into his painful face which said "I DON'T WANT TO DIE." We were married 44yrs.
Your Mom is going to need a lot of support coping with 5 children. I come from a family of 5 girls and one boy, and coming from a close knit family has its benefits. I have three adult children all living their own lives and wish now that I had more children. Such a comfort and joy. Being a Mom to me is the best job in the world. Your Mom may want to write her own post for support for herself losing a husband. But if not let her know the best way forward is ONE DAY AT A TIME. Don't look too far forward otherwise she will feel as if she has a mountain to climb and she doesn't have the strength. Reach out to God for support as He holds us all in his hands and is our guidance and Hope for the days ahead. Don't give up. You will have good days and bad days. I had the worst day from hell yesterday. Everything that could go wrong did. Thank God today is another day and feels much better. You may have days like this. It is normal. And they won't last. They come and they pass. Know that you have support on this site. You can write back as often as you need to. May God be close to you all at this difficult time and give you all His Peace.

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