Beloved Brothers

by Rosalin
(Reading Pa)

I lost my brother on May 31, 1996 to cancer, but 2 years before that I lost my other brother May 9, 1994, still to this day I am lost and I cant accept his death he was healthy and full of life and with everyday that goes by I try and get information on how and why, they say his death was natural but how does some one 29 just die, he had no drugs or alcohol in his body he had just came from working a 3rd shift and his girlfriend at the time says she walked in and he was gone. I believe the investigation was not done correct and I have carried this with me going on 20 years he was murdered and who ever hurt him is free while we his family and I his baby sister live with so much doubt. I cant continue to carry this it is so heavy in my heart I feel I have failed him when I should of been there the most......the pain hurt lost I can not cope with it is not getting easier with the days going by, I am lost and wish I knew where to go and who to speak with till I don't do all I can to find out about what happen that day in May 9, 1994 I can not be in peace. All tell me to try and over come this to find a way to cope with it but it is so hard I miss him both of them but like I day my family and I knew that my one brother was going to pass cause he was battling cancer for 18 years and we are thankful for everyday we were blessed with him but a young healthy man at 29 pass with no drugs or alcohol in his body just die.....I ask God to help me and my family to help my family and me cope with this but how.....we are a tight family this has torn us apart with so much pain...........

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Apr 17, 2014
Beloved Brothers
by: Doreen UK

Rosalin I am sorry for your loss of both your brothers. I lost my husband to cancer 2 yrs. next week and it is the worst pain ever losing a close loved one.
When you have to repress a memory because you can't resolve it then one day as time goes on it will start pressing for RESOLUTION and become very painful. This is what is happening to you and your family. Didn't you think of counselling? No use listening to other people (who may mean well). Because this pain won't just go away of itself. It is still affecting you after 20yrs. You need to try and resolve it with strategies and learning how to LET GO of things we cannot find answers to but still bother us. This is limiting your happiness and moving on in your life with Peace, so it is time to do the grief work.
When my husband suffered ENCEPHALITIS in 2005 and the doctor told lies in his medical care and failed to given him the care he needed and he could have died then. I was so angry. It wasn't until the Neurologist told my husband "Why did you leave it so late to get medical treatment?" It triggered off a rage in me. I wrote to our MP (Senetor) and let him know what was going on. He set the ball in motion and I mounted the heaviest battle to the hierarchy of the Medical Services here in the UK. It broke me down emotionally. But I saw it through to the end. I wanted better medical care for my husband. In the end the doctor came to our home. APOLOGISED FOR MISTAKES MADE. Stating they only get 30 minutes training on this disease. His Apology made my ANGER dissolve immediately. I felt HEALED from this experience and I felt CONTENT. Do what you have to if you are able. If nothing can be proved or concluded you can rest knowing YOU TRIED. A lot of information is covered up, and often you are fighting against a BRUTAL system and organisations to get justice. Take courage from the story of ERIN BROCKAVICH in the movie. Many movies of women of courage who took their story to task to resolve it. It you don't WIN your case. At least you WIN by trying. Only then can you LET IT GO. When you have done all you can and can't go anymore forward.
Know also that many people die suddenly of unknown causes similar to the "Cot Death" syndrome where there is no explanation. Experts will try hard to find causes where there may be none. I still have anger over my husbands cancer journey where so much went wrong. Another grief I have to bear. I am too tired to fight anymore.

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