Bestfriend, Sister, Other half

by Laura

It all started when I was 5 years old (currently 20). My family & I received new neighbors behind us, this was the start of my new friendship with Alyssa. As years went by my friendship grew stronger and stronger. I always went to the cabin with Alyssa and her family, went to family gatherings together, and even went to the doctors together. We became the sisters we never had, only having brothers as our siblings. Our friendship grew beyond a sister bond, she was my other half. If I was down, she was down. People even asked us if we were sisters because we looked so much alike. It was January 4th, 2009, Alyssa was 18 and I was 16. We had spent the weekend up at the cabin with both of our families. Sunday morning came around and Alyssa wasn't feeling well, she didn't want to do anything like normal. I came back from a snowmobile ride with my brother and Alyssa was in the bathroom puking. I came up stairs and she passed out on the bathroom floor, her mom was on the phone with 911 and my mom was on her side. At this time I had just became a brand new life guard the summer before this. I asked if there was anything I could do and the 911 lady told me START CPR. It took the first responders 30 min to get to the cabin, all while I was doing CPR on my own. I helped the first responders continue CPR while we waited for the ambulance to get to the cabin. They arrived and took over. I drove her dad to the hospital following the ambulance. As I sat in the Dr's waiting room in fear, the Dr finally came in and said they tried everything and nothing worked, she had gone. From that point on my best friend was gone, I returned to school the day after it happened, holding all my emotions in. I never had the courage to talk to someone how I felt about all of this, just told them I was sad and felt unreal. 3 years have gone by and I still cry hard where no one knows. I'm not sure how to deal with this at this point, I miss her more then words can express. I have emotional break downs all the time and people aren't sure why. Alyssa was that one person I would be able to talk to about this. I am still lost and confused.

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Jun 02, 2012
I am so Sorry
by: carol,seans mom

Laura, Hello. I am a mom to three children. My oldest Sean died in November suddenly at the age of 24. My two daughters are 22 and now 16. I want to first say you sound like an amazing young lady. Your friend was so lucky to have you in her life. When someone dies suddenly it is the worst pain. I am only six and a half months into my grief and it has gotten worse. I think one of the important things for you to do is talk about your friend. Let people know how you feel. You need to let these emotions out. Talk to your mom. I know how you feel when you say you hold them in. My son would call me for everything. I was his goto person. I know or at least I feel people don't want to hear about it anymore. My feelings are now being kept inside and honestly I have become ill. These are real emotions we have and we need to release them. I wish you peace in your life,you deserve that and I hope someday we both have peace in our hearts.

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