by Sequoia Murray
(Lancaster, CA, US)

I love and miss you!

I love and miss you!

I love and miss you!
Our last picture together.

Dear Grandma,

I love and miss you. You left us to go back home a couple days ago, actually it was September 24, 2012 at around 330pm. I had just saw you the day before and you said, "I love you, see you next week." Well the next day I called you and you sounded fine, two hours later I got a call from your caregiver Fanny and she said that you weren't doing too well. I asked her what happened and she said that you had passed out. I wasn't too worried because I knew you were going to come back like you always did. I called my mom but I guess she was in a meeting or something because she didn't answer the phone. I called Tina and can you believe it? She said she was on her way and she really was this time. I texted your other daughter Delores and she didn't answer but luckily Tina got a hold of her. I called Fanny back to see if you were okay by then but she said that you were on your way to the hospital and that they couldn't revive you. I have no idea where my mind was because I didn't think about what the word "revive" means even though I know what it means. I packed my bags because I was going to ask if I could stay with you for the rest of the week, but my mom called me and she said those two dreadful words, "Mom's gone." I thought that she was just talking and being scared like she usually is, so I said you weren't gone, you were just fine. She told me that you weren't and that Delores called her and told her. It finally it me that I had lost my best friend, and I would never be able to see, hear, or touch you again. I broke down, grandma. I know you said that you didn't want me or anyone else to cry when you pass but I just couldn't help it. I had just talked to you two hours before you did and the conversation was so short, I felt like I should've called you earlier when I wasn't so busy but I cut the conversation so short, and I'm sorry. Maybe I should've called you right back? I'm not sure. Anyways, mom's taking it pretty hard, and she's trying to be strong for me but I know it's hurting her very bad. I miss you grandma. I miss the way you used to feel for me in the bed to see if I was still there with you, and the way you would actually listen to what I was saying even if it didn't make any sense. I miss the way you used to tell me how proud you were of me and if anything happened I could always come live with you. I should've taken that offer but I didn't. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. I just want you to be happy now. You no longer have to worry about being able to walk or use the bathroom or wait for anyone to help you get up every morning. You can finally be with your oldest daughter Yvonne and Theresa. I'm pretty sure they've missed you just as much as you've missed them. I love you grandma. I'll be able to see your face one more time at the funeral next week. I miss you and love you, we all do. Even the ones that hardly ever saw you. I'll see you again one day, hopefully.


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