by JAH
(Napa, Ca )

My Daddy passed away, April 05, 2012. I was 23 years old, the baby of 4 children & filled the roles that the older siblings should have. The closest sibling in age is my brother who is 2 years older than me. My other siblings are in there late 30's Early 40's !

My life was a mess (or so I thought) around the time of my fathers illness. My two older siblings had nothing to do with my dad & didn't really even speak to him before he passed.

My Aunt decided to "take control" because my father had no assets. To make a long story short , me & my sibling that is 2 years older were there everyday. Made his breakfast, tried playing games, watched TV ect. My father asked my aunt, her husband, my brother & my self to under no circumstances give him a certain pill. Behind our backs it was given to him. He passed a short week and a half later.

Since then , nothing has been right.
I feel so many emotions at once, from being betrayed by my family, to being left on my own to handle the emotional battle of having no father, or stability. I've lost all of my ambition, tenderness, drive , ect .

What do I , do?

Comments for Betrayal

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Sep 04, 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

JAH, I am sorry for your loss of your father, and for your loss of relationship with your older siblings.
Sadly this sort of division in dysfunctional families is a common thing. You will find that though you feel your situation is an isolated one it isn't. This is not the time to start battles but I can see no way of just dismissing what has happened. Since your father was not in contact with your older siblings this would rule them out from having given him that "Pill". You would need proof of how your father died! If there was foul play this would be reason to take this matter to some higher authority for investigation? If you don't want to take this route your only solution is to try to RESOLVE THIS BETRAYAL with the help and support of a counsellor. It is only possible then to move forward from BETRAYAL of this kind that has torn you, brother and aunt apart. You need to stick together and support each other.
I have a similar situation going on just now of BETRAYAL. I am left angry by this but cannot take the matter further because my sister has said her piece in an aggressive way. Taken our father's money and put him in a home where none of us can see him often due to distance. Phone calls let us know that my father is being difficult. Not co-operating with staff caring for him. He is 91yrs. and suffering dementia. He will die all alone in that home and it is tearing me and my sister apart. The bad sister got Power of Attorney. So she put everything in place for herself to benefit putting our Dad's money in her account, thus robbing 5 siblings of their inheritance. We feel betrayed and angry.
In the past when my husband was ill I took our Doctor to the highest authority for medical negligence. In the end he came to our home and apologised. I dropped the case. I only wanted him to take responsibility for this. He did in the end. It cost me a breakdown in health due to the strain of mounting this battle. But I am glad I did it. I fight a battle if it is possible to get results. But in my father's case there is nothing else we can do. When he dies this will be further heartbreak wondering how his last days were. I EMPATHISE with you. I know what you are going through when BETRAYAL happens in what is A FAMILY. Get the support of a counsellor. When you are stronger you may be able to find out who is responsible and to CONFRONT THEM. Be guided by expert help. A counsellor may even be able to help point you in the right direction. You just need to make sure you get the RIGHT COUNSELLOR to support you. Please write back with an update and more support.

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