by Debby
(Sacramento CA)

My friend Bette committed suicide two weeks ago. She had lost a son to alcohol and drug poisoning (She was 6 years clean and sober) a year ago and just three weeks ago she had a fight with two of her daughters with on sending a nasty letter and the other fighting with her on the phone and telling her she could not see her son's children again.

I had been staying with her 4 days per week since her son died, trying to help her through the grief of losing her child. The other three days her boyfriend stayed with her. The weekend that she committed suicide, her boyfriend was not with her and neither was I.

She was so mad at God and told him so a lot. We talked for hours the days that I was there about her son and about the grief that she was experiencing. I prayed for her because she would not pray. She kept her program of AA going although she was still in such pain regarding losing her son.

I feel lost and alone, I miss my friend. Her service was a fiasco and no one said anything nice about her. I bought an angel (her favorite) and went to a rose garden with two other women from the program and we all said goodbye to her. My heart feels like it is going to burst out of my chest. My anxiety level is through the roof!!!! I feel abandoned and alone so very alone.

Comments for Bette

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Nov 26, 2011
I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

Hearing your story makes me feel less alone in this world of hurt and despair. I lost a boy who was becoming a very dear friend to me by suicide a little over a month ago. I still cry almost every day and think about him all the time. But you problem held her together and kept her alive for longer then she thought she could live. So I am thanking you for her. Thank you.

Oct 09, 2010
by: Anonymous

You did so much for your friend. Please don't feel that you could have done more. You couldn't. You gave all that was possible. It was her decision to do what she did. Bless you for being the person you are. We can do so much, but it's up to the other person to choose how to receive that help. May you find peace in knowing you gave your all to her.

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