Between the light and the Dark Days are the Gray ones
Days still continue to move as time passes. I did not think that the seasons should even change in the beginning of grief.
Spring is beginning and the buds on the trees tell me that I have survived yet another Winter. It was a cold Day In Dec. 09 that Hubby went for a walk and never came home. I still hate Winter, that is when My Love was taken from me. That is when my life changed forever.
The days now are mostly fine a few blue days and some downright unbearable. Some days really do make me wonder about my own sanity. I had to keep a cheery facade for my 14 year old on his Birthday last week. I was anything BUT cheery. I went back to that gray mood where I did not care and had to fake my way through the day. It is so unfair to my son that grief continues to haunt me on the most glorious and joyful of days.
But I will make it, we all will... We need to give our selves time and that might take years as in my instance- 2 years and 4 months on April the 6th 2012. I need to be patient with myself as grief revisits from time to time. I will never be the person that I was, But I try with all my will to do new things...
I am going to take off and to to Emerald Isle NC. for Spring Break or wherever the wind blows me (South). I just purchased ZZ Top Tickets for June 3rd. I reach out beyond my comfort zone and force this new life upon myself. One Day it just might fit and feel right on me...